Ever have one of those times?

Ever have one of those times when what you write just feels so inspired, that the words just flow off of your fingertips effortlessly, like a breeze, as if someone else was typing them for you? I have. Unfortunately, that occurs more in the comment boxes on other blogs than on my own! But today I had such a moment and it was very healing for me. I struggle with suffering and understanding it, but today, for a second, I totally and completely understood the Theology of Suffering. Now if I could only bottle that and take it as needed. Here’s the gist of it.

Who would we exactly be mad at? God? My mother found out this week she has multiple myeloma and probably is down to her last 5-6 years of life – should I be angry with God about that too? or why my 6th baby died in utero at 23 weeks? or that we struggle from month to month to make ends meet?

It seems to me, that when bad stuff happens, we could act like little kids and raise our fists towards God and be angry, and where exactly would that get us? From my personal experience, it gets us no where. It makes people old and bitter before their time and that’s about all it accomplishes.

I believe that in God’s divine providence, everything happens for a reason and a purpose, but because we cannot possibly know or understand the mind of God, we can’t know it or see it yet. I also believe that sometimes this terrible stuff happens because we really need it to. There is value in carrying our own crosses, it makes us wiser, stronger, better people if we accept that. I guess that’s hard to accept in your 20s. It’s not that much easier in my 40s, but I think I have the gift of time and perspective to see the value of the times I did grab that cross vs. the times I left it alone or tippy toed around it.

What the older, Catholic, been-there-done-that women who tried to convince you against the early induction were saying, in my opinion, is – “here’s your cross.” Like it or not, it’s here. And it looks hard, and it looks heavy, but trust us and embrace it because the blessings and the wisdom and the goodness that will flow out of that are worth it, and you will feel the gentle hand of Jesus and the communion of saints in heaven and on earth with you as you pick it up. And it will heal you.