It’s hard to figure out the best way to be a parent to your adult children. I struggle with it all the time. You want to be present but not hovering. You want to show concern but not nag. You want to be a help but not a crutch.
Last weekend, we hosted a luncheon at our home after the baptism of our third grandchild. I remembered how much work it took to have such a get-together for an infant after giving birth. The energy is low; the fatigue is bad due to all the sleepless nights. Throwing, organizing, and hosting an event on top of that at times just seemed insurmountable.
(Side note: I found that I enjoyed our first communion celebrations much more! The child was at least 7 years old by then. All the difficulties of parenting a newborn were over with. And since almost all my children were two or more years apart (except for Izzy and Noah), I had a lot of energy to devote to the celebration planning.)
I kept waiting for my son and daughter-in-law to let me know if they wanted to host a get-together at their home. Alternatively, they could have wanted us to rent a place at church or at a restaurant. All they knew for sure was that they wanted a little party, but they didn’t know any particulars.
I get it. Having your first baby can feel kind of overwhelming. Learning to breastfeed, pump, and take care of a baby can be daunting, in addition to recovering from childbirth. So, we stepped up and offered to host in our home instead.
The Baptism and Party
In years past, we would have sloppy Joes, chips, a salad, and a cake for our baptism parties. We went back to that for this one. The day before, I put out the white tablecloth and table runners. I also pulled out photos of baptisms from the past. I put some of them on the Skylight frame as well. Luckily, I also had some flowers from Valentine’s day and I was able to use those to make a centerpiece as well.
We cooked the sloppy joe meat that morning and had it simmering in the crockpot while we were away. We also made a veggie tray and had that ready to pull out from the fridge. My daughter-in-law’s mom had asked what she could bring, and I asked her to provide the cake which she did. So, my menu was covered.
But before any of that, we had mass to attend (for which I got to play my flute) and then the baptism itself. There were two other babies being baptized that day, but Father did a great job keeping the families organized and getting the babies blessed, anointed and baptized.
Noah and Annabelle asked Gabe and Izzy to be the godparents. I was happy about that. Gabe had a bad year last year with the death of his friend. He needed something joyful in his life. Izzy was happy to do godmother honors.
After church and some pictures, we went to the house and welcomed Annabelle’s family, as well as our own crew. The house was full. It was nice to actually meet Annabelle’s aunts. I didn’t really get a chance to meet and talk to them at the wedding, but we had great conversations at my dinner table.
Mr. Pete totally forgot to get the paper plates and cups, so I ended up using our everyday plates for the lunch, but my grandma’s special china for the cake. I think that turned out to be a nice touch.
And I took a lot of pictures!
So in my own way, in a way that was helpful, but not overbearing, I think I helped my adult children with this and helped shoulder a burden. It also helped make memories and we got to know the other side of the family even better! It was a great day.
