Why we left our homeschool co-op, sorta

Back in 2018, I wrote about why we were part of a homeschool co-op. I had just graduated two of my kids who were part of the co-op during high school. My baby was in the second half of her homeschooling years and my 5-year-old granddaughter was in the pre-school program. We were meeting in a small Catholic school that had never really been used as a school. We were enjoying the big field by the school. We also had the outdoor pavilion and a reasonably nice indoor gymnasium.

I felt truly blessed.

And grateful. So grateful that when the leadership asked for help, I agreed to act as registrar for the group. I also taught a wide range of classes from preschool through high school. We were truly living that co-op life. We even persevered through the pandemic.

Flash forward 9 years. I was stressed out and increasingly dissatisfied. I stepped out of leadership, and we’re only taking a science class for academics. I’m also not teaching for the first time in 9 years. We will still come in the afternoons for performing arts. However, all the other academics will be homeschooled.

Here’s why we’re leaving our homeschool co-op for academics.

1. I used to enjoy the time chatting with other homeschool moms between courses. But as our co-op got bigger and as more demands were made on my time as a teacher and as a member of the board, those opportunities became harder to come by. I have many great acquaintances at the co-op. However, I have very few good friends. We don’t really have time to chat there. Space is at a premium, so there’s no place to hang out. So, going to the co-op for a fellowship for ME is no longer really a consideration.

2. I liked that my kids had to be responsible to another teacher, but I saw some downsides. How can a teacher who only sees my child once a week possibly assign a grade on their coursework? As a teacher, how can I evaluate how the kids were doing with the material? If I need to build in some accountability for my granddaughter, I can use online courses in middle school. I could also consider some college or AP classes in high school. The co-op is no longer my only choice.

3. We had to leave our little school building with the nice fields and pavilion. It was a move to a big Catholic school building that seemed to be designed by the same folks who designed Hogwarts on mind-altering drugs. It has the dreary feel of a big institutional school, complete with stairs that go up only to go down a few steps later. We were officially too big.

4. I enjoyed learning things in preparation for the classes I taught. But being a co-op teacher takes a lot of work for no pay and not a lot of appreciation. Homeschooling parents are free thinkers. They think nothing of missing a week or two or six of class or showing up late. Frankly, the disrespect and lack of appreciation for my time and effort were soul-crushing.

4. I have come to appreciate the HOME part of homeschooling even more over the years. Leaving for co-op once a week was challenging and a disruption that I no longer feel necessary.

5. Our co-op got too big. Renting our building is very costly. It became too much like regular school with a set schedule and a bell to ring. I never liked that, and I’m eager to get away from it now. Being on the leadership team was similar to being a school administrator. That was never something I aspired to.

7. Every homeschool group I have ever been in has eventually devolved into drama. Maybe that’s the nature of things because women are primarily involved. Maybe that’s just how Satan attacks good things. I don’t know. But I’m old enough now to realize that I no longer want to be part of the drama. I’m also not a politician. It started draining my well-being. I have over 30 years of experience and six successful kids. I don’t need extra stress. Peace out.

BUT we are staying for the enrichment classes. We’ll come just before lunch for the science class. She can eat with her friends and then do the enrichment classes. My granddaughter enjoys drama and choir. She also likes being with her friends. If we just go to those classes in the afternoon it will be the same as going to piano lessons or art class – something fun she does once a week. And since it’s done after lunch, she will have plenty of time to do our regular school work in the morning. It’s a big win for us.

This summer, I’m busy with other things. It’s nice to only think of my granddaughter and her homeschool needs. I am not prepping a class for the co-op. I am not overwhelmed by a ton of texts every day over leadership stuff. It’s very freeing. I know I made the right move.