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Outside my window

Lovely picture via Lost in the Hills on Flickr


I am thinking…
about my grandmother.  I loved my grandma with all my heart.There was even a time in my life that I think I loved her more than my mother.  And yet, as I look back at our relationship, there were times when she could be very cruel.  Grandma had a heart attack in her mid 50s and a few strokes after that. I remember reading somewhere that heart patients could be particularly testy and hard to live with at times. Maybe that was grandma’s problem. I know she wasn’t very nice to live with when she wasn’t feeling well. If she spent the day working in her flower gardens, it was almost a guarantee that she would be out of sorts the next day – and once we figured that out, sis and I knew to keep away from her after a gardening day.  But what grandma was most known for was her “cold shoulder.”  Once she decided not to talk to you, she could keep it up for days and even weeks. Apparently, she wasn’t even speaking to my mother before her wedding. I can remember a time in middle school that she wasn’t speaking to me for some infraction, and I remember how hurtful it was and how I wondered if I could ever win her love again. Growing up this way did something to us.  I think it made my sister more distant and I think it made me more sensitive to when things aren’t quite “right” with a person. I can sense it even if it’s just through Christmas cards or e-mails. And I will ask Mr. Pete at least daily, if he’s mad at me.  After 30 + years of marriage, he is used to my paranoia on this point.

I did vow that I would never ever do this to my own children or my husband and I haven’t.  If we have quarreled or if the kids needed to be corrected, I have always made sure that we made up as quickly as possible and that they never experienced the big freeze out.  Until now. But that’s a blog post for another day.

I am thankful …
for an understanding spouse!  A man who could take all my childhood drama and still accept the woman I became.

From the learning rooms

From the kitchen…
Meat loaf and potatoes tonight.

I am wearing…
Grey pants, black top and my blue hoodie!

I am creating…
a quiet home for Lent, immersing myself in more of my Lenten readings and prayer, and helping my children in the season as well.

I am going…
to get back into my workout schedule after missing most of last week.  My goal is to get at least four in. I am also working on my prayer time during this Lenten season.  Last night we played for a mass and tonight we go to our last Church History class. This class was 24 weeks long and we didn’t miss a single week!

I am reading…

For Lent!
Also got Scott Hahn’s new Lenten book for my Kindle.

I am hearing…
the buzzing in my ears, he hum of the computer.

A Picture to share…
Izzy’s besties – always there to help her celebrate a sacrament!
James Izzy and Tamara!
February 2013 083

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