A Family Portrait

Our church has announced its intention to publish, yet again, a parish directory. They want us to get the kids together, make an appointment, and get our pictures taken. On the one hand I was excited! We have not had an entire family portrait with all eight of us since Rosie was born and this would be a wonderful opportunity!

The other part of me wondered how fat and old I’m going to look in a new family photo. Fat I can do something about. Old is another story.

Another dilemma for me is one of completeness. Although this will be a photo of my family, there is still one missing and even if no one else says anything about it, that is a loss that will always be there for me. Someone is just going to be missing from our portrait.

I thought about this a lot this week as I kept visiting the Story of Audrey Caroline blog. There are some beautiful family pictures there of the entire family including Audrey. Although I have a tiny picture of Raphael, we did not take a family picture. Raphael was only 23 weeks when he was stillborn, only about the size of my hand and he had been dead for a while before he was born. At the time I was concerned that his appearance might bother my other children and so they never saw him. So we don’t have that type of picture.

The last time we had a family portrait done I had Izzy hold Raphael’s rosary. The day before Raphael’s funeral I purchased a pearl rosary and touched the cross and centerpiece to his forehead. It really is the only thing of mine that was touched by him, that I still have. But Izzy is older now and I’m not sure she would want to. I could but I’m not sure how the photographer is going to be able to work with me on that.

A friend once suggested having a Teddy bear in a family picture to represent the missing baby, but Mr. Pete feels uncomfortable with that. I’m leaning towards getting a little angle pin to wear on my blouse or dress. That way it’s personal, but I still feel the baby is represented.

Another dilemma will depend on the photographer. Will these be good enough quality to use for Christmas cards? and will they be affordable. We do get one free 8 x 10.

In the meantime, I’ll have to find a date where EVERYONE (meaning Calvin) can be in the picture and I’ll have to decide what we’re going to wear.

Luckily I have a few months to get it figured out!

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