So last night after helping my mother get ready to move, and doing the dishes, transcribing numerous reports and just generally working my butt off… I decided to unwind at 11:00 p.m. by watching a little t.v. until I got sleepy. My local t.v. station was carrying a rerun of the HBO series, Sex in the City.
Last night’s episode sort of reconfirmed for me some of the things I have been thinking about this command in the book of Titus chapter 2 to the “older women.” You can see my past posts here. In a nutshell, Titus II gives a direction to older women to teach the younger women. Much easier said than done and Miranda of SITC illustrated that very nicely! Of course my paradigm is 180 degrees from Miranda’s, but the principal of older relating to the younger was well played out, even if the moral situation was questionable.
Miranda had gone out with a gentleman a few days before. They had a good time, shared a few kisses, he walked her to her door and then told her he would call her. Miranda thought he must have had a busy work day for the next morning, or he wanted to take it slow, or some other reason for not wanting to come in and spend the night. Carrie Bradshaw’s (Sarah Jessica Parker)boyfriend, Berger, was asked for his opinion and he was quite honest about it.
“He’s just not that into you,” was his assessment. According to this hip New York man, guys just aren’t that complicated. If they really like you, they’re coming in and there won’t be any excuses. Berger then predicted that Miranda was going to get an awkward e-mail breaking things off before they get started.
Miranda thought Berger’s assessment and honesty were refreshing. Sure enough, a few days later, she got the predicted e-mail from her date. Miranda thinks she has finally discovered the secret to men and women, and decides she must share this dating information for the benefit of womankind.
A few feet away from her, two 20-something girls are talking about, “why he hasn’t called.” They too are giving “him” the benefit of a doubt and tons of reasons for why “he” hasn’t called. Miranda, sagely, sweetly and almost motherly tells the young women, “He’s just not that into you.” She sweetly smiles, wishes them well and advised them to move on.
And they’re response was, “Who does she think she is! Bitch!”
In that instance I thought SITC had captured exactly what I have been trying to say about Titus II women, and relating to the younger women we’re supposed to be helping. I’ve come up with three problems with this set up.
1. It doesn’t matter how nicely you say something. If the message is something they don’t want to hear, or if it’s hard to hear, tone and body language won’t make up for it. You’re going to come off bad just for saying it. In blogging I have had this happen to me several times. I’ve been told I was mean, cruel, etc., but no one has been able to give me a specific example when I’ve asked for it.
2. It doesn’t matter if what you are saying is true, or if every indication supports your statement. You’re still going to be judged as wrong until proven otherwise, usually by life, usually the hard way.
3. Young women don’t like to take direction, advice, suggestions, admonition etc. from women they don’t know. Miranda was a virtual stranger to these women. They had no qualms whatsoever about totally discounting her message.
So I sat there thinking this must be a universal truth. After all even the Sex in the City folks got it right and portrayed it accurately. Maybe someone should write The Gospel According to Sex in the City.” Could be an interesting read.
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