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Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

A very good description of grief over time

I remember having a telephone conversation with my grandpa about 25 years or so ago. He was feeling a little sad and started going over the litany of all the people in his life that he had lost and that he missed. I was listening to him and nodding; he had indeed suffered some losses including his wife, son and some good friends. But when he went back to the 50s to mention his brother, and even farther for his father, I grew a bit impatient with him Their deaths were so long ago after all. Shouldn't he be over them by now? Shouldn't he be looking forward to the next generation of great grandchildren and great nieces and nephews?

And now in my 50s, I get it. I feel quite chagrined about it, but I understand where grandpa was coming from.

Maybe my Aunt Dot said it best when she says hearts break, but they heal. Heal they do, but the scar from that hurt always remains as a reminder and once in a while, as damaged areas from a distant hurt or injury do, they ache again. Not as searingly painful as they were at first, but as a dull ache. Just enough to get your attention and to say, "remember, remember."

Last weekend I was watching Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole and came upon this scene with the wonderful Dianne Wiest.


The best example of explaining grief that I've come across yet.
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