Tuesday, August 03, 2010

State of the Blog/ state of the blogger.

The lazy days of summer have made me a little bit lazy about keeping my blog updated! The truth is that I am trying to figure out a new pattern for my daily routines and trying to get blogging to fit into that.

As I posted in the past, I have become more and more interested in losing weight and maintaining good health. What has held me back is complete commitment. And the reason for that is that I know what complete commitment to losing weight is and for me at least, it is obsessive. I had anorexia in high school before the term "anorexic" was even mainstream. It was a bit extreme anorexia - 15 years old, 98 pounds, loss of periods and starting to get dark hair all over.  My mother was so concerned about me.  About 8 or 9 years  when Karen Carpenter died and the term was first being widely used and I remember thinking, "Hey, I think I use to have that."

I think anorexic behaviors remain even after one gets a normal weight and I remember after Sam was born and I set out to lose 50 pounds, that I could have easily, effortlessly slip back into old habits and patterns. I did lose that weight.  Five more pregnancies, the weight came back with exercise more or less continuing, but not the urgent need to lose all of the weight, and in fact some psychological reasons to keep it.

Hitting 50 and losing my mom last year has made me think more about my life and life goals. I'm at the point where it's kind of, if I'm going to accomplish certain things I have to do it now! Losing weight is one of those things. I know this will be a struggle because every time I have successfully lost weight before it was always three steps forward, two steps back. I am a slow but steady loser.

So for the last several weeks I have been making myself workout with one of my library of FIRM tapes first thing in the morning.   I literally get out of bed, get dressed, and work out for an hour before anyone gets up.

Another one of my goals was also to be more prayerful, so after the exercise, I'd take a shower and then do the Divine office Morning prayer. And I'd feel satisfied - as if I had done something very good for my body and my spirit.  The thing is, this all takes a good 90 minutes or more.  I still have to get my typing done and other chores and I'm not even homeschooling heavy duty right now.  Where does blogging fit in?

The answer is very carefully.  But also, probably not this week as I figure out this schedule, and get ready for homeschooling.   So this week I'm planning a "Best of My Domestic Church" and then sporadic blogging next week and then back with hopefully a worked out blogging schedule that will allow me to get the other stuff done that I really want to include on a daily basis into my life.

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