Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

7- Quick Takes Friday

Join Jen and the other Quicktakers over at the Conversion Diary.

1. OK, so I'm obsessive. We got the PDF files of the Pre-Cana evaluations this week and I've been thinking about them. A lot. First of all, I guess I should mention that our talk, Marriage as a Sacrament/ Making a Christian Home, did get singled out for several very lovely comments. For example:

The Marriage as a sacrament was my favorite. The couple had an open and friendly manner, and the speech was engaging and enjoyable.

Marriage as a Sacrament - good speaker

Marriage a Sacrament - Very good examples.

...and Marriage as a Sacrament were very helpful to me personally.

2. But we also got singled out for this:

I thought all of the talks were well done and helpful except for the Marriage as a Sacrament one. I understand that they are happy with their children, but I did not understand how they related to the topic. The audience was clearly taxed by this time of the session and this topic was far from engaging.

I'll bet I know who wrote that as I could NOT get this guy to make eye contact with me during the speech at all. But anyway, it's up on Youtube so you decide.

3. A few years ago one of the respondents wrote "Don't Talk about dead babies," and some of you suggested that perhaps this young lady had had an abortion or some other type of pregnancy loss. This year we had a lady write:
The amount of speakers who stressed having kids over and over was unbearable. Some people can't have children, that should be considered. Some can't afford to adopt.
Well that got my attention. My thought is that the rest of the culture is pretty good about saturating young people with contraceptive ads and the message that children are to be allowed in very limited quantities if we can't contracept or abort them away. I don't think hearing the counter message for one day is going to hurt anyone - unless perhaps someone sitting for the day already knows ahead of time that they have an infertility issue. There is a paragraph from the catechism that deals with this and I'm thinking of inserting it for next year's talk.

Couples who discover that they are sterile suffer greatly. "What will you give me," asks Abraham of God, "for I continue childless?"164 And Rachel cries to her husband Jacob, "Give me children, or I shall die!"
I need to think, pray and read about it a little more before next year.

4. Like my new header?  The lovely Alexa designed it for me!  She's so creative.

5.  My baby moved out.  Calvin was bound and determined to be out by his 21st birthday and he did it with months to spare.  I thought I would feel really bad about it. (I feel a little bad about it - okay, I'm quite weepy but I also weep at Hallmark Card commercials so it is what it is.)  On one hand I am quite proud of him and it was time for him to go.  He needed more space to listen to whatever he wants to on the radio or watch on t.v. and he needs his own space in the fridge. He also tended to be a little inappropriate with his language in front of his younger siblings.  Maybe he'll appreciate us a little more if he has to work for everything he has.

6.  On the other hand it kills me to think of him spending $500 a month on rent and utilities instead of saving it - especially in this economy.  Also it was hard enough having him get to mass when he lived here - I can't imagine that will be better when he is on his own.  But he did go with us to Ash Wednesday mass so maybe...

7.  It did kind of hurt my feelings a little when friends on facebook and in real life were congratulating him for "getting out."  He's leaving home for cryin out load, not making parole!  Truthfully I sort of resented those remarks.

# bonus quick take - but this Lent is going to be about letting go of grudges and bad feelings.  I simply added some things to "hidden" on Facebook.  I also took some blogs out of my Reader - particularly blogs that I simply followed because we had once had a disagreement. Life's too short.

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