Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

Simple Woman

Outside my window...
hot with the potential to get hotter!

I am thinking...
About some criticism I took last week from a commenter on a different blog.  This anonymous person (aren't they always?) speaking mainly of my older three sons said that one has no future, one has no chance of passing a big test or getting a job, that I involved one in an educational scam, and that all of them need to get into debt to go to college.  Basically I have screwed them all up  and that my way was not the right way.

I don't know if I've screwed them up or not.  I'm not sure that "my way" is the right way or not.  Mr. Pete and I have done the best with what we knew in our hearts and the resources we had on hand.  I don't think you can know if you've screwed up your kids really until they hit about 30, maybe even older for some guys and probably some girls too.

But I think I'm making it a policy now not to discuss the older kids' personal lives unless it is in a positive light. None of my kids ever need to read that they have no future, or they somehow are not as good as everyone else.  So I won't be sharing much about them in that way.

I'm also not anti-college.  I'm anti- getting into a huge amount of debt and Catholic Colleges not teaching Catholicism. I think every education consumer should be against that - but that's just me.

I am thankful...
For the family and friends that came out to support Calvin and Sarah at their joint grad party!   

June 2013 121

June 2013 123

And more family and friends that came out to make Izzy's 14th birthday memorable as well!
June 2013 131

June 2013 130

From the learning rooms...
  • Gabe and Noah are starting "As I Lay Dying" by Faulkner.

    We are sort of in semi-vacation mode this week.  Concentrating mainly on math for Noah and reading and math for the girls. Gabe is taking a government class at a local charter school just to get it out of the way. 
  • Spelling program per Dr. Holinga for all four kids. 
  • Instacert for History and start American History part 2
  • American History at Homeschool Connections Recorded Courses.  
  • Apologia Science - Physical for Noah, Biology for Gabe, and  General for Izzy.
  • Saxon math for all with math tutor for Gabe and Noah.
  • Rosetta Stone Latin 3 - for Noah and Gabe
  • Diane Craft reading program for Izzy. 
  • The Long Winter.
  • Pathway readers for Rosie and the Wand for Language arts.
  • Mary Poppins for Rosie and Izzy. 
Rosie is attending an art camp at church this week too!

From the kitchen...
Not sure of the main dish, but grasshopper something for desert on this Nativity of John the Baptist!

I am wearing...
gray skort (a pair of shorts with a skirt attached) black T-shirt

I am going...

  • walk every day
  • Get in a strength and cardio video at least three times.
  • get my kitchen in order
  • finish straightening up my office.
  • prepare my notification for homeschooling next year. 

I am reading...

I am wondering...
how to proceed with my blogging. One of the sub-themes of the "Domestic Church" as seen by the late great John Paul II, was a "Sharing of joys and sorrows."  So I shared a small sorrow of sorts a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about my older boys going to a rock concert 600 miles away.  I wrote about my angst and fears about their driving, and about some of the unGodly temptations they might face while there. I also wrote a post about putting HIGH SCHOOL aged homeschooled students back into regular school, something that I thought might be a good thing to approach since I couldn't find any other articles on the topic.  

Folks, there was no grand plan to these posts - one was a spilling of emotion and angst, and the other I thought of as more of a sharing of experience and what I thought might be wise counsel.  I did not intentionally set out to piss anyone off or hurt anyone's feelings - including my own! I was totally unprepared for the back lash to those two posts, where I was accused of everything from shielding my kids, not preparing them for the world, to being called a moron and a liar, as if I was deliberately trying to mislead people - why? I'm not sure. It's not as if I make any money off of it one way or the other. Those misunderstandings I think have been resolved, but over the weekend as I got posting ideas, I quickly shot them down.

What if I write about an art program for Rosie? that could turned into, "why don't you put her in an art class, why are you keeping her in an ivory tower - you're a horrible parent."

or Sam's unusual predicament of being overemployed - "Why isn't in taking out loans and going to a regular college.  His life is ruined - you're a horrible parent!"  

I even considered one for today's feast day for John the Baptist - "Why do you do this devotion and not that devotion?  - you're a horrible Catholic!"  

Looking at my right sidebar, I know that I've been in some pretty serious debates and discussions before and taken my share of criticism - but I am at a point in my life where I wanted to explore more of the quieter, contemplative side of things - and frankly, now I feel a bit paralyzed. 

I am Hoping...

  • that Calvin passes his national test on Thursday. 
  • that Calvin gets the job he interviewed for a couple of weeks ago.  He said the interview went really well.
  • I've been called to jury duty. I'm actually going to be happy either way on that one because I've never sat on a jury before and it looks interesting. 
  • that I have the strength to manage a homeschool group and a soccer league. 
  • that the property I am selling from my father's estate sells. 

I am Looking Forward To...
next weekend where there is almost nothing to do!   After the big party, celebration weekend - that sounds great!

I am hearing...
the buzz in my left ear, the air conditioner and the computer - all white noise!

A Picture I am Sharing...

Calvin, Mr. Pete and Rosie at Calvin's graduation from Paramedic School!
Photo: The other graduate.. such a good looking family too. ;)
Elena LaVictoire Calvin LaVictoire Peter E LaVictoire

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  1. If one puts themselves out as an example to follow- then one would only be truthful in acknowledging both the good and the not so great that comes out of the experience.

    Your kids have a good base. It is not your fault or your accolades that they do or do not stand on that base during these years. Every saint does it differently. If there was a secret mixture to get perfect teens to adults- it would not be free will.
    I agree- 30 is a good time to look back. From 18-28 I just sat back and stared through my fingers praying they would make it to their next birthday- hoping that I gave them some tools that they fall back on to cope. They have come to me for advice---but that is becoming less often for advice and more often for thanks. Ah 30! My daughter hits it this year and my son in two. A wonderful age!

  2. One thing none of us will never know for sure is "what if"? What if you had sent your kids to public high school, or taken a job and put them in daycare so you could afford Catholic school. What if my husband and I chose a totally different lifestyle closer to yours and homeschooled ours? We all do the best we can with the hand we are dealt and generally speaking the older I get the more I see merits and pitfalls in just about all choices.

    As far as college debt, I agree with you; here's what I had to say about it http://rannthisthat.blogspot.com/2013/03/how-to-pay-for-college-without-massive.html

  3. I don't mind putting out the success and the failures but I think this was just totally out of line.


  4. Everyone has an opinion. Most bloggers only show their best selves. You show your real self. There's a lot to be said for that. It is easy to solve everyone else's problems and play armchair quarterback when it's not your own life you're talking about. Ignore people's nasty comments as best you can. Unhappy people are mean. It stinks to be them. Be glad you're not them.

  5. Feisty girl has left the building. Her blog, according to what I see, has been taken down.


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