Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

simple woman

Outside my window...
Ohio Fall

I am thinking...
Our life is over like a sigh.
Our span is seventy years
or eighty for those who are strong.  Psalm 90

Life is too short for family squabbles and yet I find myself in the midst of one. When Thanksgiving got moved to my house I wanted to do my best to be inclusive of my oldest son Calvin and his girlfriend Sarah. First I suggested that maybe we host Sarah's parents too, but there was a tradition they had with other family members that they didn't want to disturb and I certainly understand and appreciate that. Then I suggested moving our Thanksgiving to Friday, but Calvin had to work.  So finally I said we could have ours late at 5 p.m.   At 5:10 Calvin called to tell me that they decided not to come. We're talking about a 15 minute distance here.  While everyone else was able to shrug, call him a jerk and move on, my mother's heart is shaken. I think the dilemma is how to be open to forgiving and forgiveness but at the same time avoid being hurt again.  Is part of growing in holiness putting your heart out there to be hurt again?  My husband's solution is to put it out of mind and if and when Calvin comes around again, act like nothing happened.  I love the way men handle things.

I am thankful ...
my baby girl who is really enjoying the holiday books I picked up at the library for her yesterday. Last night we read

  From the learning rooms...
Getting back into a groove.  I do have two Tom Sawyers for Gabe and Noah to start on!  I also want to make those bird seed wreaths with the girls this week. Since the community center no longer has art classes, I need to try harder to get art in there for Rosie!

From the kitchen...
Turkey and dumplings tonight.  Chili tomorrow and then chili cheese potatoes for Wednesday!

I am wearing...
Black pants and white sweater.

I am creating...
an atmosphere of waiting during Advent - of prayerful preparation for the birth of Jesus.

I am going...
to try to work some extra prayer time into my days.  Praying for the healing of my family after a Thanksgiving day of some hurt feelings - probably mainly mine.  I'm still trying to resolve my two natures - the one that wants to lash out and hurt back OR go totally stone cold vs. the loving nurturing, St. Monica type mom I want to be for my adult son. I did talked to my husband about this and he said the lashing out or the cold shoulder aren't so much to hurt as to protect my heart and feelings.  He knows me so well.

Hoping to get some exercise going here starting tomorrow too!  I don't think I over did it at Thanksgiving but I want to get back into a regular routine again.

I am reading...
a multitude of e-books that I have bought and are stuck on my computer.

Latest debate... Over at Association of Catholic Women Bloggers of all places - once again defending the Duggar family only this time against allegations from a fellow Catholic Woman Blogger who opines:

Now both of these examples are exploitative; the Duggars who want to preach to American their version of Family Value when it seems to me that they are in it for the media attention and frankly to make more money for themselves, and Glee whose producers want to make money glorifying sex.    My hubby and I have friends in Arkansas who tell us that the Duggars are very savvy business people and everything they do is very calculated.  The Duggars are revered in their community and seem to be fairly nice people, but for me...not so much.  I see Ms. Duggar abusing her reproductive nature.  She barely carried her last child to term and what will happen to this one?  As we age our bodies slow down, our reproduction takes a back seat as we reach menopause and for good reason.   My hubby and I have friends with large families; so we sat down one night with our good friends who have 13 and talked with them about this.  The mom said: "Frankly as I had more children the elder ones had to take over some of the more mundane parenting duties.  Now there is good and bad to that;  they learn something about the humdrumness that is part of parenting, but that also means I am not the one parenting.  Don't get me wrong I was MOM, but the older kids were sharing a lot of manual responsibilities, never the Parenting Duties."  My friend is no Stepford wife, no prairie long skirt mom.  She is hip and the most beautiful slim woman I know.  She has it all together.  As far as I am concerned she is the total Faithful Mom: Hip, with it, cares for herself mentally, physically, spiritually. 
Do I feel my Mom of 13 friend is wrong in her decision. No, I don't. For her and her husband this was a prayerful choice they made for their family, but where the difference is from the Duggars, for me, is that the Duggars seem to parade around to impress. There is just something icky about the Duggars that I can't get my head around. 

She can't seem to get her facts around it either.  I took a few comment spaces to challenge her on this and she responded to none of them, in the end saying that she WOULDN'T argue.  Which begs the question, then why bring it up at all if you're not prepared to defend your post?

I am looking forward to...
the Christmas concerts.   I have three in the next week.

Around the house...
keeping it relatively clean in time for Christmas - with special emphasis on the laundry room which never seems to get under control.

Pictures I am sharing:

Thanksgiving Race for Homeless 2011 004

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