Wednesday, January 25, 2012

My Daily Domestic Clips 01/26/2012 (a.m.)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

In the deep midwinter

Apologies for the slow blogging - homeschooling is in full swing and I find my self busy from the time my foot touches the floor in the morning until I fall into bed at night. Annoyingly I am finding that my predominant menopausal symptom seems to be insomnia - not every night, but when it happens unexpectedly, I am up until 1:30 or 2:00 a.m. which pretty much ruins the first half of the next school day. I am trying some things to help though - cutting out caffeine after 6 p.m. or so, wearing socks to bed, and now apparently avoiding certain foods in the evening. I also find praying the Divine Office night prayer to be very soothing.

 Two things happened last week as well which have sort of rocked my center. I cannot blog about them openly due to privacy issues but they concern my oldest children. Sam has made some life choices that totally blind sighted me - didn't see them coming and was shocked to discover them. Of course we have talked them through and even though I disagreed I was secretly pleased that he at least did some research -  I guess we need to talk some more about biased vs. neutral sources for information.

He also has it in his head that he might want to drop out of College Plus! and go to regular college.  That is his prerogative of course but since it is mainly because he thinks he would be more organized and time efficient I wonder if he couldn't just find a way to make better use of his time right now.  My anecdotal experience with my younger Facebook friends is that time management is always an issue, even if you are enrolled in school.  So I'm not sure this is exactly the cure Sam is looking for.


The second one involves my oldest son - who has moved out of the house, changed his mailing address and for all intents and purposes now lives with his girlfriend and her family in their home. Our problem stemmed from some communication problems in a triangulated way between him, me and his girlfriend. I have searched my conscience on this and in reviewing what happened just think I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  When it was resolved (translating into Calvin and his girl made up and were on good terms again) Calvin gave me a warning  - well, it was more than a warning - it's hard to put into words, but basically when he spoke to me I didn't feel like his loved, respected and cherished mother.  I felt as if I had been cast in the role of an undesirable antagonist; someone that he was going to fiercely protect his new life against. He did not regard me as a mother or even a woman but as an adversary and enemy. His words and expression were cold and rather frightening and I feel that our relationship has been fractured severely.

Since then I keep thinking about brave St. Monica - and while I admire her fierce bravery and intense prayer - I do not think the answer for me is to follow my son like St. Monica did.  I feel very strongly that time and distance are more the prescription we need.  But I will continue to pray  -more ardently and intensely for my son, but I have no wish to see him again any time soon.


19-years ago this week, I held my newborn baby son Sam, safely delivered during a very moderate and calm January day, and sat beside my sleepy 3-year-old son who was so pleased to be a big brother. I remember how much I wanted my boys to feel safe and loved. And in this unusually mild January, I have never felt such a great distance between us.  What a contrast.



  Calvin and Mom 1991?


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Saturday, January 21, 2012

7-quick takes

Join Jen and the other Quicktakers over at the Conversion Diary.>


1.  I have six children ages 6 to 22.  I would like to formally announce that being the mother of my 6 year old, hands down is easier than being a mom to my 16, 19 and 22 year olds!  and frankly the last six years with her has been a lot easier than the last six years with them!

2.  Now granted, part of that is because my daughter loves me unconditionally and her eyes I can do no wrong.  She sits beside me doing her school work or painting a picture and her sentences are peppered with, "Right mama?"  as if she knows all the answers and she knows all the answers are right because she has run them by me and I have approved them!  She is always drawing me pictures that have big hearts and flowers and the words "Rosie Loves Mom" on them.  I can't sit down to watch t.v. before she is in my lap within the first 60 seconds.  If I cry at a sad show  (or Hallmark commercial) she hugs me and kisses my face and says, "Don't worry mama, you still have me and I'll be with you forever and ever!"  But last week she put my face in her hand and said, "Mama, I want to die when you die.  I never want to be without my mama."

3.  And I absolutely balled.  Because I don't like being without my mama at all.  It has been 2 1/2 years since she died and I still find myself heading for the phone to tell her something, or I see or hear something that I want wish I could share with her.  I still miss her so much. And I hate that someday my children might feel the same way.  So I told Rosie,

"I'm going to try to live a long, long time and be a really old lady before I die, OK?  and then you have to try to do the same thing for your little girl - live a long long time!  But then we'll both have to be very good so we can meet up in heaven - OK?"   She smiled, gave me a kiss, and was on her way.  I guess that's a plan.

4.  I am not sure however that my older children feel that way.  In fact, I am rather sure that if I were to meet with demise within the next week or so, they would be fine with that.  Because it is damn hard to be the mother of older children/teens/young adults.  I think it is particularly hard to be the mother of such young men, because not only are they trying to pull away and assert themselves as adults, but they are also trying to pull away from mama and become men.  So it's a double whammy.  It's a difficult balancing act of acknowledging their independence, manhood, and legal status as adults, while still  trying to insert some moral guidance or even common sense without stirring up resentments.

Simcha Fisher summed it up in such a beautiful way this week - it really took my breath away!


To become a mother, I had to learn how to care about someone more than I did about myself, and that was terrible.  But who I am now is something more terrible:  the protector who can’t always protect; the one with arms that are designed to hold, always having to let go.
As my kids would say, that really blows.


5.  Once in a while, my kids ask me which one of them is my favorite.  My answer always is Raphael.  That kid never gives me any trouble and I always know where he is. That seems to suffice.


This week I read something about having a baby lost that I had never considered before. 
But I hold in my heart the greatest of all consolations, the hope of heaven. For I realize, that even when my body is well past the age of bearing babies, even if I should live until I am 100, always, I will be an expectant mother, until the day I hold my babies for eternity.

I am at the age where there will probably not be any more babies - but yet I am an expectant mother.  I like that.

6.  Glennon Melton had an interesting article on the Huffington Post this week.



Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

I opined:
I think you're missing the point. Maybe "Seize the day" isn't quite the message. Perhaps it should be more along the lines of, "CHILL OUT! These little antics and shenanigans are annoying now, but they will pass. And you will miss them! Enjoy them now!" Because some day, you really, really will.
Ah... the good old days when they weren't sneaking out of the house, ingesting who knows what, and totally trashing the moral code you raised them with!

But at the same time I get it.  It's hard to be enjoying every minute when your kid just blew out of the diaper and is screaming at the top of his lungs.  But I digress.

One of the lovely Huff po commenters wrote:

You know, if you went up to a perfect stranger in labor and told her, "I remember having my babies, enjoy every minute of it," you'd very likely get punched in the face before the nurse could call security. All mothers seek wisdom from people who've done it before--older women that they know who know them. To go up to a perfect stranger and assume you can tell her anything about what she's going through isn't wise, it's rude. And really, what you're telling her is, "Now that my mortality is a more relevant concern, I want to call attention to the fact that I miss it, and I want you to take care of me by letting me say my little thing so I can feel like I did something nice for a harried mom." I hope if I ever miss staying up until three in the morning because I need to get the bingo marker stains out of every piece of livingroom furniture before it sets, that I don't accost a stranger to tell her so. Instead, I hope I call up my daughter-in-law and ask if she'd like me to take the kids for the weekend.
Somehow, I don't think she'll ever get any friendly old ladies coming up to her to say much of anything other than excuse me.

And it's probably because of ladies like that I just smile and turn the other way when I see a mom in the throws of motherhood trying to manage lots of kids at the store... seeing as my mortality is a relevant concern and all these days.


Snarkiness aside, Glennon did have a wonderful way of writing what she wished would happen and I am making note of it:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

7.  On Christmas Eve I put one of these lights on my mom's little niche.  More than two weeks later it was still shining.  Which makes me think from now on, forget the flowers - I'm stocking up on these little lights.


  Christmas lights at mom's site

It just made me feel good to see that little light flicker after so long.  I can't explain why.





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It has become the custom in our family to read St. Agnes's story from the book,57 Stories of Saints. It does a nice job of presenting young Agnes and her humility, holiness and faith. It also makes her gruesome death easier to read to children.


The Pope also has a tradition on the Feast of St. Agnes  - he blessed the sheep!






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Friday, January 20, 2012

My Daily Domestic Clips 01/20/2012 (p.m.)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

St. Sebastian

Today is the feast of St. Sebastian, who is also the patron of the church I attend. In honor of our patron, our pastor and our director music collaborated on a hymn, which we sang last Sunday and will sing this Sunday. Afterall, it's not like there are lots of St. Sebastian hymns to choose from!



St. Sebastian was a Guard during the time of Diocletian. He was responsible for converting many to Christianity and many miracles were attributed to the saint.

He is most often pictured bound with arrows poking out of his body.



He was seriously injured and left for dead. St. Irene found him barely alive and carefully tended him back to health, and I might add, without the help of antibiotics! She must have been extraordinarily gifted.

Nonetheless he recovers his health and goes back to persuade/confront Diocletian and is successfully murdered that time. I often ponder how St. Irene must have felt about that!


He is the patron of soldiers, athletes, and police officers.

Usually my parish hands out chocolate arrows to the school children and PSR students. But as a family, red velvet cake is always a nice way to celebrate a martyr.

A few years ago our parish's contemporary music group sang a song about the saints and I wrote a verse specifically about St. Sebastian:

St. Sebastian the soldier who bravely lead
The people to Jesus until his heart bled
From arrows that pierced it and left him for dead
On the feast of our patron martyr the vestments are red!



More interesting files about St. Sebastian in my Diigo files!

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

My Daily Domestic Clips 01/19/2012 (a.m.)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

The Chair of Peter



In honor of today's feast day, The Chair of Peter, try some Pope quizzes!

Popes Quizzes and Popes Trivia -- FunTrivia





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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My Daily Domestic Clips 01/18/2012 (a.m.)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

Karen Santorum on babies with poor prognoses

  


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Confirmation candidate letters to the bishop

One of the tough parts about 8th grade in the Diocese of Cleveland is getting ready for confirmation.  The confirmand  has to amass at least 20 service hours (half of those in the parish), and write about a patron saint, but most daunting of all - he/she must compose a letter to the bishop about why the confirmand wishes to be confirmed.

My diocese has a different bishop now than when my first son was confirmed, but still, I'm not sure that he reads all of these letters.  However, I suspect that he at least peruses them. The first time we had to do this was really tough, but it has gotten easier with each kid.


So here are the letters of three of my sons that they have written over the years.  I offer them as samples for other young confirmandi who might be struggling to get started on their letters to the bishop.
The moment of Confirmation
Letter 1
Your Excellency:
I am writing because I wish to be confirmed into the Catholic Church. I believe that the Catholic Church is the one true church founded by Jesus Christ and I wish to be a full adult member. I look forward to the privileges of being a full member and am willing to accept the responsibilities as well.
But most of all, I look forward to receiving the Holy Spirit and the graces that flow through the Sacrament of Confirmation.
Sincerely,

Samuel 

 Letter 2
Your Excellency, 
I have been going to St. S’s church all of my life and I know that I believe in the Nicene Creed.I would like to grow closer to God and avoid the fires of hell. I believe confirmation will do that for my by strengthening my faith and giving me the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit particularly the gift of wisdom.
Father V and Mrs. S. have influenced my faith journey. I really learn a lot from Father V’s homilies. Father also participates with the choir which inspires me to be more like him, because I sing in the choir and sacred music is important to me.
I am choosing for my conformation name Jean-Marie after St. John Vianney because he could read hearts and had the gift to influence many people towards God. I also like him because he could stick up for himself against the devil.
So please consider me as a candidate for confirmation.
Respectfully yours,

Gabriel 

Letter 3
 Your Excellency: 
 I am writing because I wish to be confirmed into the Catholic Church. 
The reasons that I would like to be confirmed are: • To be a fully initiated member of the church and • To receive the Holy Spirit and his gifts. 

After I am confirmed I will keep serving God and work hard at what I think He wants me to do such as helping others in any way that I can and to positively influence other just like others (the saints and P.S.R) have influenced me. 

 Sincerely, Noah




Paul's confirmation with Bishop Lennon







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Monday, January 16, 2012

Our homeschool room

A lot of the homeschool books, blogs and web sites suggest that we don't want to take "school" into our homes. We aren't schools so we don't have to be quite so regimented in our approach to homeschooling our children. And Lord knows, I'm not. Any homeschool that regularly starts at 10 a.m. and finishes by 4 p.m. is not suffering from over regimentation!

But there is one part of school at home that I do think is important and that is having a special area for regular schooling. A few years ago, Mr. Pete gave me a space in the basement for all of my books and a computer for school and all of the kids maps, pencils, pens and crayons. It was a life saver! Because now all that stuff had a place to go besides being stacked precariously in a corner of my living room. That said, I still do a lot of homeschooling on my dining room table. How else can I cook up a pot of chili and help my daughter with her Saxon math? But we also do a lot of work in the school room, particularly work that needs a lot of concentration.

January 2012 003
This is how the room looks when you first walk into it. The blackboard has a story of its own. I wanted a blackboard and thought I really needed it, but had no clue how I was ever going to get one. Then one day we were walking by the church behind us and I noted they were using a blackboard outside, to keep the rain from dripping into their basement. I was able to negotiate a price ($30 I think) and carry it home where it has been in use ever since.

I'd like to tell you that the floor looks better, but it doesn't and it won't until I get down on my knees and scrub it - and that's not going to happen for a while.  In the mean time it is swept and vacuumed and mopped and that's good enough for now.

The table with the computer on it was given to us last year. All we had to do was carry it out of a garage and lug it home. I like it because of all the cubby holes and also because it has deep drawers for my teaching books and supplies.

January 2012 005

The computer I had saved and shopped for.  It's not the best or the fastest but it was perfect for our homeschool needs.  The monitor I got a deal on too at Staples.

The wood table on the left is one that Mr. Pete picked up at an auction.  He stripped all the paint off of it and it turned out very nice.  For a while it was in our oldest son's apartment, but when he moved back home (or at least his stuff moved back in) we moved it into the classroom.
January 2012 007

Each kid has a crate that they are to keep their school work in.  I'd like to tell you that looks neater too, but in the interest of full disclosure- this is how it looks most of the time. At least everyone knows where their stuff is and that's good enough for me too.  There is a drawer in this table for paper and other supplies.

The padded chairs I bought at a school auction.  The wooden chairs would be gorgeous if I ever got them stripped.  But even without stripping the paint, they are VERY comfortable.  They used to be the property of an electric company but Mr. Pete got them at a tag sale.


January 2012 006
This is the book space Mr. Pete built. Some of the boards are bowing from the weight of all the books! I guess next year we'll have to flip them around so that it starts to go the other way. I also purged a lot of things we weren't using as well.

I have resource books on the top shelf,  reading and literature on the second shelf, religion and language arts on the third shelf and math and science on the fourth and fifth.  On the ground level I have some art supplies.

I have two bookcases for general reading. January 2012 004
This one has all of the little house books and books for Sonlight Ancient World curriculum. January 2012 008
This one has all of the religious books as well as reading books for my early elementary aged child. Prior portfolios and the baby books are here as well.

homeschool classroom It's a work in progress but for this year, this is a good fit for us!







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Noah studying pre-algebra.


Simple Woman


Outside my window...
Winter's Shadow
Winter has finally come


I am thinking...
about Izzy and how she is still struggling with her reading. So last week I started using Dianne Craft's reading program, hoping that the right brain/left brain exercises will help her to read with more ease.  Ms. Craft suggests the Merrill Reading books, but I have had a tough time finding them.  After getting level A on e-bay  I found another buyer who wanted $183 for level C!!  I finally found level B at Christianbook.com, although it seems that D, E and F are going to be easier to find at discount prices.  I may have to pay $20 for level C but that's a far cry from $183.

I am thankful for...
for good health and a happy family.


From the learning rooms....
I am going to try to mold my homeschool day to look something like this:
Gabe and Noah get up around 7 a.m. , eat breakfast, walk the dog etc. then do an hour of math and and hour of science. Then they settle down for their classes on Homeschool Connections  in Apologetics, Latin Boot Camp and eventually History. While they are doing that, I go through all of Izzy and Rosie's work and then we come together at the end of the day for History.  That would be an awesome day!

From the kitchen...
Potato soup -(a special request from Mr. Pete)
Shepherd's pie.
Chili
Three way chili
Tuna casserole

I am wearing...
Black skirt, black shirt, black sweater and boots.

I am creating...
Some art projects for Rosie - stay tuned!

I am going...
 I am doing this one at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow... ugh!
 
I am reading...

Homeschooling with Gentleness: A Catholic Discovers Unschooling

I am hoping...
to have a good school week, particularly with Izzy and her right brain retraining and reading remediation. I am also hoping that Sam writes his check to College Plus.  I want him to have full responsibility for his own education. I would also love it if he would take the Analyzing Literature test over again!

I am hearing...
Stirrings in the kitchen...

Around the house...
Hoping to get started on my taxes and be a better manager of my money for 2012!  Also need to pull up and dust off the old Pre-Cana speech.  Need to present it again next month.

A few plans for the rest of the week:
Just to get homeschooling back on track, keep the house up and try to get four workouts in this week to meet the weight goal I have for the end of January!
    A Picture I am Sharing:
My creation
My daughter and my great-grandmother. Resemblance?


 




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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Creation Science Class and 2 free tickets

Media Angels is offering the first ever Ultimate Creation Expo! Speakers include Dr. Jay Wile, Dr. Thomas Sharp, Kim Jones, and Tom DeRosa. Listen to Paleontologist Joe Taylor, and authors Felice Gerwitz, Sharon Jeffus and more.

Over 20 audios including topics such as "Evolution vs. Creation", "Five Lies Evolutionists Don't Want Your Kids to Know", "Creation, Evolution, and the War Against Life", "Evolution Proof Your Kids", "Dinosaurs and the Bible", "Carbon-14 Dating and Fossilized Bones", and many more! Don't miss this FIRST ever Online Creation Conference!


As an affiliate, they are giving me two tickets to give a way for this Expo. If you're interested leave me a comment and follow this blog (in the right sidebar) and a number will be chosen at random.

Ultimate Creation Science Expo

I also have discounts for Media Angels online Science class - save 75%. of the usual class price. Follow this blog and send me an email at elljazz@gmail.com for your Coupon Code.









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My Daily Domestic Clips 01/16/2012 (a.m.)

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.