Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Women still not listening to each other!

Chatting at breakfast

Back in 2009 I shared a bit about my birth story. Recovering from a traumatic birth experience is hard, Having other women discount my experience was even worse.   Here's an excerpt:

When my first son was born, an OB at the hospital came in and announced that he was going to break my water. There was no discussion following that even resembling informed consent! He put his hand inside of me to break my water and when he complained that I was "breaking his wrist" the two students, or residents (I'm not even really sure who they were) both forcibly grabbed and opened my legs, so that he could force his hand further inside of me. My husband watched in horror. I felt humiliated and was in a lot of pain. I later felt that what I experienced must be very close to what it would be like to be raped.

Months later, when I was recovered from the unexpected Cesarean birth of my baby, I decided that I was going to get this guy in a little trouble for what he did to me. I was working as a supervisor in an HMO that contracted with this doctor's group. So I went to my female supervisor and told her the whole story. To my horror she waved the whole thing off. It seems that years earlier she had been having a difficult birth and this same doctor delivered her baby after a difficult pregnancy and she still felt very grateful to him and was not about to have him reported or reprimanded. I did write a letter to the hospital after I resigned my position, but that letter too went to a lady who was called a patient liaison and never received any reply.

Ten years later I was being rushed into surgery to deliver my daughter who had an umbilical cord prolapse. I was trying very hard not to push with contractions because I did not want to collapse my daughter's cord and cut off her oxygen supply. I was very calm and peacefully concentrating on prayer with what I can only describe as a heavenly peace that this was going to turn out well. Suddenly two techs, nurses (no clue who these people were either) came up and forced my legs apart (what is it with these people?) and as they did so I had a huge contraction that dropped the baby's heart rate. They yelled at me not to push. I yelled back that I couldn't help it and that if they didn't want me to push they should put me under anesthetic.

They put a mask over my face and I determined that I would breathe as deeply as I could to get oxygen to my baby and then to fall asleep so that she could be delivered. But to my surprise as I breathed there was no oxygen, there was no gas, there was nothing.I felt as if I were suffocating. It was as if someone had put a hand over my face and nose and when I grabbed the mask off to complain, I was restrained until I fell asleep.

The next day I remember telling the female nurse about this and asking why they would put a mask on my face with no oxygen if the idea was to keep the baby oxygenated. She told me directly that I was probably having a panic attack and that what had happened to me probably didn't happen. I was livid. 

Some things are different than during my childbearing years - at least some powers-that-be are understanding that mothers make the health care decisions for the family, so treating them better might be better for the bottom line. had an article about that this week. 

An excerpt:
When Barbara (name changed) recently underwent her fourth Cesarean section, she was appalled by the care she received during her recovery.  Her catheter overflowed, and a CNA asked her to check her own incision.  When the CNA asked if she was breastfeeding her baby, Barbara replied tearfully that she couldn’t lift her out the bassinette.  Rooming-in is a great idea. Unless you’ve had a 36-hour labor or major abdominal surgery.Pregnant women are vital health care consumers as they usually have a partner and one or more children who will presumably be accessing care in the future. However, many pregnant women still experience paternalistic attitudes when they come into the hospital.

I read this article with great interest. The female doctor who wrote it seemed to understand the importance of treating women in labor and childbirth with respect and dignity. Further, this doctor could see how treating women patients well in labor and postpartum could be good for the hospital and healthcare providers in the future.  I've been saying that for years. 

I eagerly went to KevinMD's facebook page to read the comment section. I was just sure I would see positive comments from other women affirming that a little respect and just having doctors listen to their concerns would be a welcome change. 

That's not what I found. 

Instead, I found a lot of female OB/GYNs, who were angry at the author, and irritated at mothers who wanted to be partners in their own healthcare. 

One female OB/GYN chastised the author or the paper for making her job harder.  I opined that maybe mothers who have gone through bad experiences in the past are sharing that information with their daughters. And surprisingly she dismissed that possibility.  Here it is.

kevinmd discussion 3

So even when I told this OB/GYN another possibility of why some of her patients approach her as the enemy, she dismissed me. Chalk it up to just one more time in my life that I have had a female healthcare professional ignore what I had to say.

For the record, I don't think all women doctors are bad, inept or uncaring. My own doctor is a woman and I have a niece in medical school. But I do think women are harder on other women and I also think that all doctors, but particularly female doctors could help themselves and their patients better if they would simply LISTEN!

Wordless Wednesday


Monday, March 27, 2017

Simple Woman

Outside my window...

Father daughter dance 2017 Beauty and the Beast

My spring flowers seem to have survived the snow and the freezing temperatures  Maybe in a few days I will have some pretty blooms to share.

I am thinking...
So I got a little behind in my blogging last week. Part of that was because I got a nice surprise on Saturday morning - my oldest son surprised me with a quick weekend visit!

Long time readers might remember that my son encouraged me to buy a handgun and to start wearing it around the house in case of a home invasion. I did follow his advice. I have a hand gun and I even started wearing it, especially when its just the girls and me alone at the house. But last Saturday morning I was sitting in my pajamas at the dining room table and I saw the backdoor open (because either Mr. Pete or Noah forgot to lock it when they left!) and a big man come through the doorway.  Immediately I was regretting not being dressed and wearing my gun! but a second later I saw it was my firstborn and he was carrying a big box of  doughnuts! (Of course he scolded me for not having the door locked and not having my weapon with me.)

His wife Sarah was up for a bridal shower and Calvin was able to tag along. It was so nice to see them both.  They were also able to celebrate the birthday of my Lenten birthday boys- Mr. Pete and Noah.
I am thankful...
My weekend surprise.

that I got to see this guy last weekend. I also got to see his wife and her parents too.

I am pondering...
a new trick I developed to save myself some sadness when Calvin and Sarah left.  They stayed most of Sunday and into the evening. They were going to leave early the next day from her parent's house and head back to North Carolina. So I told them to stop by the house if they could to say good-bye. Of course, I knew they couldn't but when they left that night, there was hope that it wasn't a true good- bye, and in the morning by 9 or 10 I knew they were probably on the road. I have to play games like that with myself to keep from crying and it worked.

On a very different note - I think my class very much enjoyed my presentation of the OJ Simpson trial, the propaganda and the logical fallacies. The majority of them had never heard of OJ Simpson or the trial so I got to fill in all of that history for them before I went over the fallacies. I'm a storyteller at heart so this was fun for me, and interesting for them and I think it made the study of logic, rhetoric, and fallacies more practical.

I am hearing...

In the kitchen...
Haven't decided yet... sigh.

I can remember when I was a little girl, my grandma said the one thing she was really looking forward to in the next life was not having to plan any more dinners!  I thought that was horrible when I was a kid.

I totally get it now!

I think we'll have a turkey roll up, sweet potato quiche, split pea again on Wednesday as we have been doing all through Lent, and two other things I have to figure out.

I am wearing...
Third week of Lent.
Third Week of Lent. This is the dress I wore for the concert I played in right after church.  My firstborn got to hear that too!  I don't think he's ever been to one of our concerts.

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This is what I decided to do for Laetare Sunday (fourth Sunday of Lent).  We had to go to a track meet right after mass - I mean church, to home, to the track within 30 minutes. So I wore my black pants from K-mart, a knit church in a soft pink, a purplish scarf that belonged to my sister-in-law, and my new denim jacket from Dillards that I got on sale for only $18.

I am going...
  • to walk or work out every day with Pfilates  - DETERMINED THIS WEEK - because I have NOT been hitting every day because I can't seem to get up in time because of the time change. 
  • add some additional novenas next year with the help of
  • to cut my carbs via the Wheat Belly Total Health: The Ultimate Grain-Free Health and Weight-Loss Life Plan recommendations. 
  • More flute practice to keep in shape and get ready for Lent - especially my part for the 7 Last Words of Christ, the 7th word!
  • Prepare the final exam for my Logic class in two weeks. 
One of my favorite things...
The yearly birthday bash for these two guys.  This year, Noah couldn't decide what he wanted. Mr. Pete told me that he wanted a nice hoodie that he could wear it without hoods or paint or the other stuff he gets into at work.

So I decided to get them both the same thing!
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Hoodies from Walsh University- where Noah goes to school.  Noah has been wearing his all week!

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I am reading...

From the Learning Rooms...

    Adobe Spark

    Reading and English list via Bravewriter and other sources  Reading Great Expectations.

    Prairie Primer  - Starting the Shores of Silver Lake this week.
    Saxon Math Grade 6
    Exploring Creation with Botany
    Trail Guide to Bible Geography
    Art with Miss Lucia 
    Children’s Choir at Oaks of Righteousness Co-Op and Parish choir
    Drama - at co-op   A Flintlock in this year's production of Peter Pan!

    Isadora: Senior year!

    British History
    Switched on School House British Literature
    Diane Craft Reading Program
    Art Studies at Akrona Art
    Parish Choir St. Sebastians
    Spelling U See Per Dr. Holinga
    Saturday Soccer League

    Izzy made a cake roll.  This is a cake she planned and decorated!

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    A quote to share...
    "Not a particle of evidence, Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, shaking his head and gathering up his skirts. "Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule."

    Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations (Kindle Locations 4962-4964). Kindle Edition.

    A picture to share...

    Happy St. Patrick's day from the grand daughters and great grand of Virginia Mcguirk!
    The granddaughters and great-granddaughter of Virginia Mcguirk!

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