Keeping adult children strong in their Catholic faith can be a tricky business. A few years ago, Danielle Bean wrote a beautiful tribute on Facebook to her parents and by extension her siblings. She wrote:
I was raised 1 of 9 kids, and all 9 of us are practicing the faith as adults today. So … what did my parents do?
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Well, let’s start with what they didn’t do. My parents didn’t homeschool, didn’t “babywear,” didn’t bake liturgical cupcakes, didn’t attend TLM. Those can all be great things, but are not necessary to raising good Catholic kids who become good Catholic adults.
Danielle Bean – via Facebook
I come from a long, long line of Catholic Christians myself. Mr. Pete is the 8th of 9 children from a strong Catholic Family.
I would love to be able to tell you that everyone stayed strong and continued in their Catholic Faith, but that’s not what happened. My mother and father-in-law took their children to mass every week, prayed the rosary, said grace before meals, and sent them to Catholic schools. Still, three of their children died outside of the church and away from the sacraments.
My mother and grandmother were very devout practicing Catholics, and yet my sister and I did our own years of “wandering” from the faith. Some of our children have wandered as well.
As a consolation, I remember reading once that at least some of the children of Mary Reed Newland and Maria Von Trapp are no longer practicing Catholics. (I can’t verify that one way or the other.)
I don’t say this to discourage anyone or to take anything away from this wonderful tribute. It’s just how it is. When my own family was struggling with adult children not practicing the faith, I was reminded that God, the greatest parent, and teacher of all, still has rebellious children!
We are living in a post-Christian culture. The Catholic Church is still in the midst of the ongoing sex scandal. The family is under attack and even the basics of family and gender are floundering. Keeping kids Catholic under these circumstances is challenging!
But parents have to remember that WE are not responsible for our children’s decisions. We can lead them to Christ, set good examples; teach them the faith; homeschool, send them to Catholic school or public school; go to mass and live the liturgical prayerful life, and it still might not be enough.
What’s a parent to do?
Our children are not ours. We raise and nurture them, but we are more like the sower of the seeds that Jesus talked about. We try to prepare the soil so that seeds can take root, but we can’t completely control the other conditions that will affect our seedlings once they sprout.
So yes indeed, pray, go to church, pray as a family, celebrate the liturgical year, wear your babies if you want to, homeschool if it’s for your family, and bake the liturgical cupcakes. Do whatever YOU can do to make those roots grow deep into the faithful soil.
I have a subscription to Catholic Icing for my family. It helps me to plan decorations and themes for my family as we travel through the liturgical year. It’s geared mainly for young children, but I have received many compliments on my table and home altar with the printables I have received from my subscription. I highly recommend it for any Catholic Mom looking to inexpensively make her home into a domestic church.
But if for whatever reason they wax and wane or seem to whither when challenged, don’t despair. At some point, that’s on the adult children. Just be there and keep praying for them, knowing that the times you spent as a Catholic family anchored them to their Catholic faith, even if they don’t want to acknowledge it.
And if it takes doing silly crafts, or baking a cupcake to stir those memories and warm feelings to keep them grounded or bring them back, then that’s what it takes. As my older children get closer to 30, they are becoming more committed to living their Catholic faith. Reliving those special times of year draws them in!
So go read those bible stories, watch Veggie Tales, pick out next year’s homeschool curriculum, or make that paper mache angel. Do whatever you can, whenever you can, and however you can to engage your children in their Catholic Faith.
Sometimes, that means baking cupcakes!
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First posted January 8, 2019