My Lent 2019 Book List Plans

Is this the year you really want to dive into Lent? Do you want to come out of this Lenten Season and truly feel that you've had a small share of living in the desert with Christ for 40 days? I know that I do. Maybe it's an upcoming birthday that's making me have more of a now-or-never type of attitude towards Lent. Or maybe I just acutely feel the necessity of truly modeling this for my children, and living it with my husband. Whatever it is, these are the books and resources I'm going to use this Lent to really LIVE the season from Ash Wednesday all the way through to Easter Vigil. Look them over. If something looks helpful to you, use it. If it inspires you, go with it. I hope all of these bless and encourage you.

This content uses referral links. That means if you make a purchase or click a link, I may make a small commission - just enough to support my diet coke habit. And there is no extra charge to you. It's
 a win/win! Read our disclosure policy

1.The Links to r…

Menopause and grandmotherhood - the strange new world

Rachel at Testosterhome wrote: 

Now if you’re thinking I’m depressed, I appreciate the love. But I’m not. I’m actually doing great — and I want to share about that too. But it’s so scary, being on the edge of a cliff standing out there taking in the scene and not knowing where to go. Is now the time I start to share what it’s like to not have babies anymore? Do I talk about this new world of the youngest being four? Of how it feels to hold your brother’s brand new baby and be totally okay with the reality that you probably won’t have anymore babies — and that you are totally peaceful in this time and place? To be where you are and be content and grateful for where you are and what God has given you, and how very strange and new it is to be here?

I totally get it.

I still have an 8-year-old so I am still privy to be around a lot of new moms.  I watch them mothering their little ones and I remember what it was to sit on the bench with a nursing baby while watching out for my toddler and making sure my older boys were behaving themselves. I know what it's like to lug a diaper bag around and having to deal with a car seat.   Those were the good ole days.

And as hard as those times were emotionally, mentally, physically, they were nothing compared to the teen years - or to last year, where in a span of six months my three oldest sons moved in with their girl friends and the youngest of those made me a grandmother.

How does it feel to have half of my children gone? and to NOT be totally peaceful about it because of the way it happened? What happens when your hopes, plans, dreams for them evaporate?

As a blogger how do I share my experience  yet respect their privacy and protect all of us from the creepy haters out there who hide behind their anonymity?

How does it feel to not have my mother there - the wise counsel I had all of my life?  I feel as if  the matriarch is gone and I am the  usurper and fraud in her place. There's no way I deserve this spot and I don't want it, at least not like this.   It's five years since her death and it still. feels. weird.

Last week my sister was hit  by a car hard enough that she was unconscious for 20 minutes and in the hospital over night.  But before I knew that it was just a pretty wicked concussion, I was scared to my core that I might lose her. - I don't know what life looks like without her and the thought of it was sobering.

 Rachel also wrote:
And in the meantime, I’m too stuck to do anything but think about how I’m stuck. I think about all the changes going on and can’t figure out what to do about it
I have never felt as stuck in my life.  Little kids and minor children weren't easy, but at least I could DO SOMETHING for them, with them, or even to them. I could feed them, hold them, drive them, pick them up, put them in time out, take the car keys away.  Now my influence over the older ones reminds me of a phrase from the Wizard of Oz - I can offer suggestions and advice, and they can tell me, "Rubbish! You have no power here!"   and it's true.
Glinda photo: Glinda witches3.jpg

And then there is this little person, the prettiest little baby doll - who is so innocent and pretty -whom I have no legal or moral obligation to, but because I have had such strong examples of what a grandmother is I still feel obliged to... to what? exactly.

 photo 50f1a990-b981-4881-aa22-6a2d86de30b2_zps241f52c2.jpg

In 8 years I will be done homeschooling.  That will go by in a flash  What does life for me look like after that?

Rachel finishes with:
Do you know how terrible it is to have a thought or feeling and be too afraid to share it and then be clicking around (because you do that instead of writing because it’s too scary to write) and then you see those same thoughts — very likely expressed way better than you ever could — and you just want to walk away from it all.So hello, welcome to my world!
Thanks.   Let's share a seat over there and see if we can figure out what this strange new world looks like.   When the busyness of babies, toddlers, kids and teens has cleared away, we can assess the damage and figure out where to go from here.

...asking for petitions all the time from St. Anne - the patron of grandmothers, and of my mother - who will always be a saint in my eyes.