Monday, June 10, 2013

The Woes of Mothering the adult, (or nearly adult) child.


It started a couple of months ago... I started to hear Sam and Gabe talk about something between themselves. Sounded like banana or bon bon and kangaroo... I didn't think much of it. Then I saw in one of their Facebook statuses that they wanted to go to something called Bonnaroo. And again, I didn't think much of it. It seemed to cost more money than they had and I knew Gabe would never be able to swing it. I couldn't imagine them going in Sam's old car either.

Nor could I imagine that Mr. Pete would actually enable them to make it happen!!! But on this one, it turns out we are NOT on the same page. Mr. Pete allowed them to make payments via his credit card and have Sam pay him back in cash. Mr. Pete also told them to, "Go ahead!!!... use the family tent - we won't need it until later in the summer!"

And to my horror, gradually things started to come together. Sam has a great gig this summer as a landscaper and he easily has the money to spend. Gabe also got in a lot of reffing games the end of the season and also spent some time landscaping. Mr. Pete pronounced the old car road worthy - and so despite my protestations (i.e. "It's too far." "It's too expensive." "What if something happens?") They're going.

My next hope was that I myself would be out of town when they were out of town - thus sparing me the anxiety of wondering if they made it and if everything was alright. That ain't happening either. Since this festival starts Thursday, they are leaving Wednesday. Unfortunately I am not leaving until Friday. So I will have two days to think and stew before I have another distraction.

But what we're really seeing here, so late into our marriage, is another difference in the way Mr. Pete and I look at things. He is looking at this, remembering his own desire to be adventurous and free as a young man in his late teens and early 20s. I am looking at it as a potential disaster waiting to happen.

Long time readers might remember my somewhat high familiarity with terrible car accidents. (See here, here, here, and here!).  That's probably why the idea of this just makes me bristle.


and I probably don't need to mention that the seed to this adventure started with a particular girl - a young lady who now holds more sway and persuasion than I do any more - especially with Sam and Gabe.


So Wednesday morning they will take off with our tent and cooler, and all of the water and food they could afford.  And Mr. Pete and I will probably get up to see them off.  I don't know how I will feel then - probably numb. I'm not sure how I will feel towards my husband - probably dumbfounded.

I'm feeling very nostalgic for the days when my problems with the kids could be solved with a cookie, and a nap!




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