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Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

The Duggar Finale this evening

The Duggar Family's "19 Kids and Counting" have their finale tonight. I'm not sure if I will be able to watch it or not.

It's so hard for me to believe, but it will be 10 years ago this year that Mr. Pete and I were in the same position - an ultrasound of a much wanted baby with no heart beat, and having to share that information with our family and friends, but especially with our children.

I remembered telling the kids:


The kids were a different story. Calvin just sat there kind of numb. The two little ones started to cry, but at 3 and 4 I think they were crying more because I was crying. Gabe genuinely wept and gave me a hug. I found out later that he had hoped that nothing would be wrong with me and then he felt a little bad about not thinking the same for the baby. Sam's reaction was immediate and visceral. He developed a splitting headache and nausea, very much like his dad's reaction a few weeks earlier at the news of his mom's death. He had to go to bed right away. 


I'll probably watch tonight- and cry. And think about the little boy who isn't here and whose spot in the family has just never quite completely closed and probably never will.  I'll also be grateful to the Duggar's for sharing their grief about this in public - 10 years ago I felt as if no one really understood the grief of losing an unborn baby, and now I think maybe with the example of Michelle and Jim Duggar, people will see and understand a bit better.





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