Long-time readers might remember the debates on this blog from 2005 about early induction for a Catholic blogger whose baby holoprosencephaly. That blogger was getting advice from a "Catholic catechist" who told her that the church just hadn't caught up with medical technology yet and gave her the go ahead to have the induction abortion. How refreshing to read about this brave deacon and how he was able to guide this couple into giving birth to their baby girl and cherishing her short life.
We called the deacon who married us and asked him to come to our home. Shortly after he arrived and heard what was going on, we began to discuss what we would do. While we referred to ending the pregnancy as termination, he called it abortion. I was so mad. I would never have an abortion. But this was different. (Or was it?). That word, “abortion,” offended all of us so much that my dad asked him to stop using it when talking about our little girl. (As Brad and I are writing this now, it seems so ridiculous that we even felt that way.) We became so angry with the deacon and the church for not even considering our feelings in this unimaginable situation. (We now realize how selfish that was!) Before he left he asked if he could pray over both of us. As it turns out, he had never done this before. I can’t remember his exact words, but I do remember that both Brad and I began to shake and cry even more. When the prayer was over almost immediately, a sense of peace came over both of us. I looked at Brad and he looked at me and we then knew that it was God’s will, not ours. We knew what we were going to do. Nothing. Let it be. Give our baby girl a life, whatever that looked like.
Something changed in us during that prayer. This did not by any means indicate a smooth road ahead, it was anything but. Over the next four months we had so many highs and lows (honestly more lows than highs), but we tried to keep up a positive outlook by giving our baby girl a life through experiencing everything we could with her. I ate everything that little kids love, mostly sweets and desserts — and she seemed to love cheesecake and Dairy Queen the most! We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas and tried to focus on the fact that she was alive and healthy while protected in my womb. Brad bonded by talking to her and feeling her move.