But that all said, I am enjoying my late-life baby - soon-to-be 6-year-old Rosie and I wonder what all the fuss was about having a midlife baby. I remember the pre-cana NFP classes talking about being so careful to chart and follow the rules to avoid a mid-life pregnancy. Let me tell ya, having that midlife baby has been great. I didn't try to get pregnant, it just happened, but I'm so glad it did.
I'm also enjoying my older children - watching as life plays out before them and wondering what it will be like for them in a few more years. Since we homeschool I have a lot of hard work still ahead of me, but I don't mind. I could use a little break though. Maybe in August we'll take some time off.
Mr. Pete and I can't believe that we will hit 32 years of marriage this year. When we watch "old married" couples on t.v. who are hitting 20 years or 25, it's a bit jarring to realize that we beat them by at least a decade. When did we make that slide from newly married to growing old together? Don't know. Don't remember. Still it doesn't seem like this is rocking chair time. There's a lot to do and it seems the main thing in your 50s is to try to keep yourself as healthy as possible so that you can get all of that stuff done. I guess the best thing we've done for our health is keep our marriage going. I know it's been the best thing for me and I hope for him too.
Looking back, this is my second birthday without my mother. I will have to make it to 102 to have more birthdays without her than with her. So right now I still feel her loss deeply. During my last birthday with her she was on her death bed, but she was so keen on wishing me a happy birthday. I'll never forget that.
There are a few things I need to improve on in the coming year. I have physical goals I want to meet with diet and exercise. Also some prayer goals and my relationship with Christ.
Today of course is also the Feast of Justin Martyr - an early church apologist. I haven't done much apologetics on this blog until recently. I blame grief and time constraints. But from time to time I feel compelled to speak out about something and I will. A recent debate opponent said, that I need to "engage in some prayerful reflection about your (my) behavior." What my adversary isn't aware of is that when I DON'T write when I feel the compulsion to speak out, I feel guilty and cowardly. The truth in love - the best motto I think; remembering of course that not everyone recognizes the love when faced with the truth. Keeping that in mind and remembering not to take the inevitable fall out personally is my task for the next year.