Thursday, January 07, 2010

When the birdie leaves the nest

When I was growing up, my grandmother always told me that when I left home, I would not be welcomed back! So I had better make sure that when I left, it was forever! Now that may have been because my mother left and came back pregnant with a toddler, or it may have been because she wanted other things to do with her house besides keep a room ready for me. In the end it didn't matter because grandma died a year before I married and left home for good. Nonetheless, when I left home I had a little trepidation, as if the safety net was gone out from under me and I was truly on my own - with my new husband of course.

But I don't want my kids to feel like that. I have often told them that this is their home and if they need to come back, we're here for them.

Calvin is getting ready to take that leap of faith. He's making his own money as an EMT-Basic. He has my mom's old car and a t.v. he bought - he figures he's good to go. Now, Mr. Pete and I have tried to explain to him that although he could certainly leave anytime he wants to, there are certain advantages to staying with us, i.e. home cooked meals, free laundry, discount on car insurance and maybe most importantly, the ability to save the money he would be spending on rent so that he can go to Paramedic school next fall. But Calvin will do what he wants to - he always has. He is out looking at apartments this afternoon.

Mr. Pete and I have just sort of shrugged our shoulders. We know that he will be paying rent or making a house payment for a lot of years. We wish he would live frugally at home right now. But he has to make his own plans and make his own mistakes. Calvin has asked that we support him in his decisions, even if we think they are the wrong ones. I think the compromise reached was that we support his right to make decisions. Semantics I know, but we at least all agreed on it.

So he will move out but when he does he knows his Dad and I will always love him and that he always has a place here.

but he'll have to do his laundry somewhere else - all decisions have consequences after all!




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