2010 and New years resolutions!

I I looked back on these resolutions and was shocked at how poorly I did on a lot of them. But then it was an extraordinary year - my mother died. I still have a hard time coming to terms with that. I still jump a little when the phone rings in the morning because mom always called me in the morning. She is still the first person I think about when I wake up in the morning. Having someone that close to me die just changed everything - my outlook, my energy level, my priorities. And then finding out a few months later that SLO was ill was like having the wind knocked out of me twice.




It was also the year I felt let down by people.




The medical establishment that my mother was entangled with was patronizing and unprofessional, and to my mind were responsible for not taking her symptoms seriously last December, resulting in her death in June. I realize mom was 81. I also realize that she had classic symptoms for ovarian cancer and although she was seeing an oncologist every month, sometimes twice a month, he totally missed it! I don't think he even examined her.




My evil first cousin ramped up her deceit and greed quotient, which wasn't as surprising as it was stunning.




Around the time mom was dying, we had our first-ever eBay customer that I felt deliberately targeted us for the purpose of putting a nick in our e-Bay score. There was absolutely nothing I could do to work this person and she seemed eager and even delighted to escalate her problems through the Paypal grievance system. E-bay was not helpful to me at all and I felt allowed the extortion to happen. Mr. Pete and I consequently have only sold one more item since that time. I just lost my enthusiasm for it after that.




I also felt very let down by the hospice program. I had been a big supporter of hospice care - I am now very cautious of it.




So with that in mind I look back at my 2009 resolutions.







1. To try to get more ORGANIZED prayer time into my day, especially with my husband.

I was very inspired mid year by my mother's example. When we took her for last rites, the priest asked her about her prayer life and she very easily told him about her prayer life and about faithfully praying the liturgy of the hours. When mom passed we found her Breviary, and Mr. Pete and I have been reading about how to start. This is what we want to do for 2010.The Divine Office for Dodos: A Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the Liturgy of the HoursThe Divine Office for Dodos: A Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the Liturgy of the Hours




2. To get more scripture study in too. I am using this tool this year. It's my goal to have Sam do this with me before his 18th birthday.







3. To be more organized in my household, but particularly with my homeschool. To that end I am going to make myself write in my homeschool blog more to keep a more accurate picture of what we are accomplishing.







Homeschooling was in survival mode this year although everyone made progress in reading and math. Sam even attempted the CLEP test in American History and missed it by only a few points. He did well on the PLAN test too.




On the positive side I did get more help from my kids this year and my daughter too! I want to expand that in 2010.







4. To read more to the little ones AND keep track of it on my Library Thing - also in my homeschool blog.




The school kids and I did great on this. Rosie and I, not so much. I need to have more concentrated quiet time with my baby girl this year.







5. 5. More prayer time with the kids including the Angelus, First Fridays, and Divine Mercy.




On going.




6. Understand more about money this coming year and to find ways to continue to grow our income in a down economy.




7. 9. To hit my new weight loss goal before my BIG BIRTHDAY IN JUNE! I am following along with Barb Curtis and Friends on that one!.




Between the ages of 15 and 45 I was a rigorous exerciser - dancing or Jazzercising four times a week or more. I stopped during my pregnancy with Rosie and had a hard time getting back into a regular schedule. In 2009 I walked a lot and found one of my favorite routes with a big hill to climb that was very aerobic. My goal in 2010 though is to be more focused, regulated, not just with walking but also including all the fitness tapes and DVDs that I have.




8. To practice my instrument at least 3 times a week. yea right!




I did manage to perform a lot more last year, particularly at Christmas time! I would like to start finding venues to play with Sam on guitar just for the joy of it.




11. Keep up with my medical transcription business.

Did it. Not really interested in adding to this though. Transcribing takes me out of family life and I want to find ways to be with my family more - not less. Might ramp up my e-Bay sales although e-Bay is pretty flat right now.




12. Make a concerted effort to let the people in my life who are important to me - KNOW THAT! Mama knew before she died that I loved her, and she continued to let me know that she loved me too. I don't have any doubts about that. I make sure my kids and my husband know that I love them every day.




Last year I added a part 2 to that. I can let people that I love, like, admire etc. know that. But I can't make them reciprocate. I continue to work on learning to let that go for my own sake.




It was also the year I felt let down by people.




The medical establishment that my mother was entangled with was patronizing and unprofessional, and to my mind were responsible for not taking her symptoms seriously last December, resulting in her death in June. I realize mom was 81. I also realize that she had classic symptoms for ovarian cancer and although she was seeing an oncologist every month, sometimes twice a month, he totally missed it! I don't think he even examined her.




My evil first cousin ramped up her deceit and greed quotient, which wasn't as surprising as it was stunning.




Around the time mom was dying, we had our first-ever eBay customer that I felt deliberately targeted us for the purpose of putting a nick in our e-Bay score. There was absolutely nothing I could do to work this person and she seemed eager and even delighted to escalate her problems through the Paypal grievance system. E-bay was not helpful to me at all and I felt allowed the extortion to happen. Mr. Pete and I consequently have only sold one more item since that time. I just lost my enthusiasm for it after that.




I also felt very let down by the hospice program. I had been a big supporter of hospice care - I am now very cautious of it.




So with that in mind I look back at my 2009 resolutions.







1. To try to get more ORGANIZED prayer time into my day, especially with my husband.

I was very inspired mid year by my mother's example. When we took her for last rites, the priest asked her about her prayer life and she very easily told him about her prayer life and about faithfully praying the liturgy of the hours. When mom passed we found her Breviary, and Mr. Pete and I have been reading about how to start. This is what we want to do for 2010.The Divine Office for Dodos: A Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the Liturgy of the HoursThe Divine Office for Dodos: A Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the Liturgy of the Hours




2. To get more scripture study in too. I am using this tool this year. It's my goal to have Sam do this with me before his 18th birthday.







3. To be more organized in my household, but particularly with my homeschool. To that end I am going to make myself write in my homeschool blog more to keep a more accurate picture of what we are accomplishing.







Homeschooling was in survival mode this year although everyone made progress in reading and math. Sam even attempted the CLEP test in American History and missed it by only a few points. He did well on the PLAN test too.




On the positive side I did get more help from my kids this year and my daughter too! I want to expand that in 2010.







4. To read more to the little ones AND keep track of it on my Library Thing - also in my homeschool blog.




The school kids and I did great on this. Rosie and I, not so much. I need to have more concentrated quiet time with my baby girl this year.







5. 5. More prayer time with the kids including the Angelus, First Fridays, and Divine Mercy.




On going.




6. Understand more about money this coming year and to find ways to continue to grow our income in a down economy.




7. 9. To hit my new weight loss goal before my BIG BIRTHDAY IN JUNE! I am following along with Barb Curtis and Friends on that one!.




Between the ages of 15 and 45 I was a rigorous exerciser - dancing or Jazzercising four times a week or more. I stopped during my pregnancy with Rosie and had a hard time getting back into a regular schedule. In 2009 I walked a lot and found one of my favorite routes with a big hill to climb that was very aerobic. My goal in 2010 though is to be more focused, regulated, not just with walking but also including all the fitness tapes and DVDs that I have.




8. To practice my instrument at least 3 times a week. yea right!




I did manage to perform a lot more last year, particularly at Christmas time! I would like to start finding venues to play with Sam on guitar just for the joy of it.




11. Keep up with my medical transcription business.

Did it. Not really interested in adding to this though. Transcribing takes me out of family life and I want to find ways to be with my family more - not less. Might ramp up my e-Bay sales although e-Bay is pretty flat right now.




12. Make a concerted effort to let the people in my life who are important to me - KNOW THAT! Mama knew before she died that I loved her, and she continued to let me know that she loved me too. I don't have any doubts about that. I make sure my kids and my husband know that I love them every day.




Last year I added a part 2 to that. I can let people that I love, like, admire etc. know that. But I can't make them reciprocate. I continue to work on learning to let that go for my own sake.







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My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/31/2009

• Colo. mom, baby revived after Christmas Eve birth - Yahoo! News

  A Christmas Miracle

  tags: no_tag

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/30/2009

• 
  
  
  The House and Senate Health Care Bills: The Key Differences
  
  
  
  
  Employment Discrimination in the Senate Health Care Bill
  
  
  
  
  by Robert A. Book, Ph.D.
  
  
  
  
  WebMemo #2737
  
  
  
  
  

  The Senate health care bill includes a well-known "employer mandate" provision that would require employers to either offer a "qualified" health plan and pay 60 percent of the premium or pay an annual tax penalty of $750 per full-time employee. What is less well-known is that the provision would also tax companies even if they do offer insurance -- but only if they hire people from low- and moderate-income families who qualify for, and elect to accept, premium subsidies. And the tax penalty for hiring those employees -- arguably the people who need jobs the most -- would be a whopping $3,000 per employee per year.

  
  

The combination of this tax penalty and the rules for determining who qualifies for premium subsidies would encourage companies to engage in some new and repulsive forms of employment discrimination.

(Normally employers do not know the income of their employees' family members, but the Senate bill calls for the IRS to tell employers which employees fall into this category on a monthly basis.)

However, once hired, the applicant with the working spouse will have a higher family income, so the single parent is more likely to qualify for a premium subsidy -- which means the company is more likely to face a $3,000 penalty if it hires the single parent. Which means, of course, that it is more likely to hire the applicant with the working spouse.

The teenager is not likely to generate a $3,000 tax penalty for the employer, but the adult is -- especially if the adult has children to support. So the employer has a clear incentive to hire the teenager rather than the adult -- especially if the adult is a single parent.

Then, suppose one spouse loses his or her job and with it the family's health insurance -- and the other spouse's income is, by itself, low enough to qualify the family for a subsidy.
In that case, the IRS will notify the other spouse's employer that they now have to subsidize an employee and that they have to start paying the $3,000-a-year tax (monthly, at the rate of $250 per month). This sudden increase in employment cost will encourage the other spouse's employer to lay off the second spouse as well, leaving both of them unemployed.

American Thinker: Merry Christmas from Harry

tags: obamacare, areyousorryyet?

• 
  
  
  Imagine that: more people insured and the deficit reduced. How do they do that? The short answer is over $1 trillion in Medicare cuts and tax increases. For the longer story, read on.
  

  
  

  First, the ten-year cost of insuring 27 million more people is $871 billion. But that money is not evenly spread over the ten years. The CBO does not make this part totally clear; that cost comes mostly after 2015. In those later years (mostly after Obama is no longer president, even if elected to a second term), the cost per year is easily $165 billion. Call it over $6,000 per person insured per year.
  

  
  

  As a sanity check on that number, my current high-deductible plan costs $4,000 to cover my family of four, or $1,000 per person covered. A "Cadillac" comprehensive plan might be more like $16,000 for a family of four, or $4,000 per person per year. So the federal government will spend over six times as much as my high-deductible plan, and 50% more than even a generous comprehensive one. So much for efficiency.
  
  
  
  
• 
  
  
  Let me repeat. You get "deficit reduction" by cutting Medicare and raising taxes by more than $1 trillion: Medicare and other program cuts of $483 billion, and an extra $521 billion in new taxes and fees.
  

  
  

  The cuts include cuts across Medicare, Medicaid, and the Children's Health Insurance Program: $186 billion from permanent reductions in payment rates for fee-for-service, $118 billion for payment rate reductions based on bids submitted, and $43 billion from reducing payments to hospitals that serve low-income patients. In all, it's a $483-billion cut from Medicare, Medicaid and CHIP.
  

  
  

  Can you imagine what the Democrats would say if a Republican proposed such a thing? You don't have to imagine. Here is what Senator Max Baucus, one of Obamacare's architects, said when President Bush proposed smaller cuts.
  
  
  
  

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

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Carnival of Homeschooling: Winter in Idaho Edition | Life Nurturing Education

Carnival of Homeschooling: Winter in Idaho Edition | Life Nurturing Education







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My Dearest Daughter

I'm kind of taking a break from the letters until next week or so, but wanted to share some old family photos of my mother with her brother, father (my grandfather) and the main letter writer for the My Dearest Daughter Series, my grandmother.

My mother holding hands with her dad and her little brother on the other side.


My mom as a toddler, holding hands with one of her maternal uncles (on the left) and her Dad - a day at Lake Huron.


My mother with her mother and little brother in front of the flower garden.


My mother and my uncle ready for school.



Update:
Anyone who has been following this season might remember the letter when my grandma shipped my mom's dishes out to her from Michigan.  Well I finally found the china in storage and got some pictures of it.  those are posted with the original post linked above. Unbelievable that this has made it across the country twice! and is still in pretty good shape, although I don't think I have all of the pieces. 









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St. Thomas Becket.

St. Thomas Becket




Here are two interesting sites about the martyrdom of St. Thomas Becket.

http://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/THOMBECK.htm

From Catholic Culture: "Given the tempo of the liturgical season with its feasts it is easy to overlook that one saint who for many centuries was, after Mary and Joseph, the most venerated person in European Christendom.
St. Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury was assassinated in his cathedral on December 29, 1170 because of his opposition to his former friend, King Henry II of England, who was encroaching on the liberties of the English Church.
Devotion to him spread like wildfire. He was enshrined in the hearts of men, and in their arts. In statues and stained glass, in song and story this good bishop was everywhere to be found: France, Italy, Spain, Sweden. Many miracles were attributed to his heavenly advocacy. — Excerpted from Days of the Lord"


From St. Thomas Becket's last Christmas Homily.

Consider also one thing of which you have probably never thought. Not only do we at the feast of Christmas celebrate at once Our Lord's Birth and His Death: but on the next day we celebrate the martyrdom of His First martyr: the blessed Stephen. Is it an accident, do you think, that the day of the first martyr follows immediately the date of the Birth of Christ? By no means. Just as we rejoice and mourn at once, in the Birth and in the Passion of Our Lord; so also, in a smaller figure, we both rejoice and mourn in the death of martyrs. We mourn, for the sins of the world that has martyred them; we rejoice, that another soul is numbered among the Saints in Heaven for the glory of God and for the salvation of men.

Beloved, we do not think of a martyr simply as a good Christian who has been killed because he is a Christian: for that would be solely to mourn. We do not think of him simply as a good Christian who has been elevated to the company of the Saints: for that would be simply to rejoice: and neither our mourning nor our rejoicing is as the world's is. A Christian martyrdom is no accident. Saints are not made by accident. Still less is a Christian martyrdom the effect of a man's will to become a Saint, as a man by willing and contriving may become a ruler of men. Ambition fortifies the will of man to become ruler over other men: it operates with deception, cajolery, and violence; it is the action of impurity upon impurity. Not so in Heaven. A martyr, a saint, is always made by the design of God, for His love of men, to warn them and to lead them, to bring them back to His ways. A martyrdom is never the design of man; for the true martyr is he who has become the instrument of God, who has lost his will in the will of God, not lost it but found it, for he has found freedom in submission to God. The martyr no longer desires anything for himself, not even the glory of martyrdom. So thus as on earth the Church mourns and rejoices at once, in a fashion that the world cannot understand; so in Heaven the Saints are most high, having made themselves most low, seeing themselves not as we see them, but in the light of the Godhead from which they draw their being.

I have spoken to you today, dear children of God, of the martyrs of the past, asking you to remember especially our martyr of Canterbury, the blessed Archbishop Elphege;* because it is fitting, on Christ's birth day, to remember what is that Peace which He brought; and because, dear children, I do not think I shall ever preach to you again; and because it is possible that in a short time you may have yet another martyr, and that one perhaps not the last. I would have you keep in your hearts these words that I say, and think of them at another time. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

The Holy Innocents

The Liturgical Year by Adolf Adam:

Even the oldest liturgical calendars already have a series of saints' feasts directly following on Christmas. The Middle Ages saw these saints as a crotege of honor accompanying the Christ-child, and gave them the name Comites Christi ("Companions of Christ"). In the Roman liturgy these companions are Stephen the first martyr on December 26, John the Apostle and Evangelist on December 27, and the children whom Herod slew in Bethlehem on December 28 (cf. Mt 2.13-18). These three were regarded as representing the three possible forms of martyrdom: voluntary and executed (Stephen), voluntary but not executed (John), and executed but not voluntary (Holy Innocents).

HT Jenn of Feast and Feria





A voice was heard in Ramah,
Lamentation and bitter weeping:
Rachel Weeping for Her Children
Refusing to be comforted for her children,
Because they are no more.
Jeremiah 31:15






Today is the commemoration of the Holy Innocents


When Herod realized that he had been deceived by the magi,he became furious. He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity two years old and under,in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the magi. Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the prophet:


A voice was heard in Ramah,
Lamentation and bitter weeping:
Rachel Weeping for Her Children
Refusing to be comforted for her children,
Because they are no more.
Jeremiah 31:15




************


Another sad day during the Christmas Season.


I think in every Catholic Household, throughout the rich liturgical year, you should choose to celebrate the feasts and commemorations that have meaning for your household. The Feast of the Holy Innocents is one of those for my household since I lost my own baby in 2002. It speaks to me as a mother in grief over the loss of my child in "lamentation and bitter weeping, refusing to be comforted for my child because he was no more."




But more than that over the years, it reminds me to pray for the mothers and children who are victims of abortion, children lost to miscarriage and stillbirth, and other disasters. It is a day to remember the children, lives cut short, and to remember them and ask for their prayers too.


For me it will be a special day. It is true that the home in a mother's heart will always be there after the loss of a child. But I think it is also true that a new baby is the salve that makes the pain from that injury bearable. I didn't realize how much I still hurt until I compared my Christmases from 2002, 2003, and 2004 to the Christmases since Rosie was born. Certainly time and distance has helped, but the deep ache and emptiness I felt previously is not as severe. It's like remembering what it was like to be very hungry compared to being very hungry. It's that different. But going to mass today always helps me to heal some more.




If you have lost a child, a son or daughter, sibling, little friend, today would be a good day to remember him or her. Join your prayers with the ones at mass today and ask your little friend in heaven to be your intercessor with the Father.





Today is also a special day to remember all of the little children who have died through abortion.
A Prayer for the Victims of Abortion.




Grave site of Baby John - found dead and alone at a construction site. Given a grave and Christian burial in 2005.

Blessing of Children on Feast of Holy Innocents:

Leader (Mother and/or Father): Let us pray. O Lord Jesus Christ, because of a dream, you escaped being killed with the other babies of Bethlehem. As an adult, you embraced and blessed the little children who came to you. You wanted them to come to you and used them as examples in your teaching. Look now on the beauty and innocence of these children. Bless them, their parents and all who care for them.

The leader signs the forehead of each child with the sign of the cross.

In Your grace and goodness let these children advance in age and wisdom, aware of your love for them and desiring to love others in your name. Help them to be faithful to the gospel and to live lives of compassion. Then they will surely come to their heavenly home where they will live in perfect happiness forever. We ask this in confidence in your holy name.

All answer: "Amen."

Leader to the children: "May God bless you and keep you. May your heart and mind be open. May you live a life of love and caring for all of God’s people and all of creation. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

All answer: "Amen."

The Leader then sprinkles the children with holy water.


Today is also a good day to make a donation to theChurch of the Holy Innocents in New York.
The Shrine is a great source of comfort to mothers who have lost babies to miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death and abortion.

Other links for the Feast of the Holy Innocents in my del.icio.us links.













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Outside my window...
Kind of like early spring - a Christmas rain took all the snow away and it is rather mild for the week between Christmas and New years.

I am thinking...
about changes I want to make in my life for the New Year.  With the passing of my mother and with my 50th birthday I am feeling a little more pressed for time in accomplishing everything I want to accomplish, and even figuring out what all of that is exactly.

I am thankful for...
a sensible husband and children. We had a modest Christmas but very satisfying and more importantly, very loving.

From the learning rooms...
Other than doing a unit on the state of Kansas, I think we will take the rest of the week off to recovery, regroup and reorganize.

From the kitchen...
leftovers

I am wearing...
Gray sweat suit that Mr. Pete got for me.

I am creating...
a newly organized office and classroom!

I am going...
to try to develop more discipline in my prayer life and exercise routine in the coming year. I am also going to mass today for my son Raphael, as I try to do every year on the Feast of the Holy Innocents.


I am reading...

The Divine Office for Dodos: A Step-By-Step Guide to Praying the Liturgy of the Hours



I am hoping...
to make sure that all my inventory for Mom's estate got filed all right. Who knew that a warrant for your arrest could be issued for procrastination!




I am hearing...
Mr. Pete puttering around in the kitchen.

Around the house...

quiet but happy.

A few plans for the rest of the week:
1. Walk or exercise tape every day. Started the week off right with a nice long walk with Mr. Pete!
2.  Re-organize my classroom.
3.  Update and make some resolutions for 2010. 


A picture I am sharing:  
We leave our tree up throughout the Christmas Season to Epiphany, so I get to enjoy some of our special ornaments.  Here is one of the Baby's First Christmas ornaments purchased for one of our sons.












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My Domestic Church Daily Clips 12/28/2009

• Feast of the Holy Innocents (Childermas)

  tags: catholic, feast, HolyInnocents

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.

Feast of the Holy Family

The first Sunday after Christmas, on the liturgical calendar, celebrates the Holy Family. Pope Leo XIII instituted this feast in 1892, encouraging societies honoring the Holy Family to be established everywhere. He established this feast day to remind families of the sacredness of the family and to provide the laity with a model upon which to structure their own families. In 1974 Pope Paul VI wrote, in his Apostolic Exhortation, Marialis Cultus (For the Right Ordering and Development of Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary):


On the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph (the Sunday within the octave of Christmas) the Church meditates with profound reverence upon the holy life led in the house at Nazareth by Jesus, the Son of God and Son of Man, Mary His Mother, and Joseph the just man (cf. Mt. 1:19).

HT Living Catholicism

This was the first reading we had at mass today; emphasis mine!

Reading 1
Sir 3:2-6, 12-14 or 1Sm 1:20-22, 24-28


God sets a father in honor over his children;
a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.
Whoever honors his father atones for sins,
and preserves himself from them.
When he prays, he is heard;
he stores up riches who reveres his mother.
Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children,
and, when he prays, is heard.
Whoever reveres his father will live a long life;
he who obeys his father brings comfort to his mother.


My son, take care of your father when he is old;
grieve him not as long as he lives.
Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him;
revile him not all the days of his life;
kindness to a father will not be forgotten,
firmly planted against the debt of your sins
—a house raised in justice to you.

I guess this speaks more to me this year for a couple of reasons.  My sons, particularly my oldest boy continue to push my limits.  I guess that's normal; I just wish it didn't seem so thoughtless so many times. I don't mind if he wants to spend part of the holidays with his girlfriend's family, but must it be Christmas Eve, a good chunk or Christmas Day and most of the day after?  It just makes me feel like such an afterthought. So I try to remember that not all examples are positive ones, and remind my remaining children about the importance of family and courtesy and that as siblings they are truly great assets to one another.

This reading also reminds me of the time we spent with Mom this past year during her illness and death. I so regret that I wasn't with her when she died and I can't understand how I allowed that to happen.  But I hope the weeks before of visits and rosaries at her bedside, bring her popsickles and just visiting gave her comfort and some happiness.  I hope that the funeral we planned and the tributes we gave were enough to help revere her memory. It seems so odd without her.

My sister and I now seem to be struggling with what the should be our new family traditions without our mother. Nieces and nephews needing to see their divorced dad adds to scheduling complications and I'm sure as all the kids find boyfriends and girlfriends and try to balance those families for the holidays it will be even more complicated.  But maybe the point of Holy Family Sunday is being grateful for the people to have complications with!  and to accept all of it with the serenity of Mary and the patience of St. Joseph, with the focus on Baby Jesus.








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On the Feast of Stephen

Updated from my offering of last year.


Lest we forget, today is a good day to sing this hymn!

Good King Wenceslas: "
Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen,
When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.
Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel,
When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel"



Christmas sheet music to download and play. You can dowload Good King Wenceslas here.



Updated offerings on the Feast from a few years ago.

Stephen belongs to the group of seven deacons whom the Apostle associated with their work in order to lighten their load. He was "filled with faith and with the Holy Spirit", "full of grace and strength" he showed himself as a man of God, radiating divine grace and apostolic zeal. As the first witness to Christ he confronted his opponents with quiet courage and the promise made by Jesus (Mark 13.11) was fulfilled: ". . .Disputing with Stephen they were not able to resist the wisdom ant the spirit that spoke".

In St. Stephen, the first martyr, the liturgy emphasizes the imitatior of Christ even to the extent of the complete gift of self, to the extent of that great charity which made him pray in his suffering for his executioners. By establishing the feast on the day after Christmas the Church draws an even closer comparison between the disciple and the Master and thus extends his witness to the whole mission of the redeeming Messias.



From Catholic Culture

A couple of points come to mind. Jesus came to earth to save us from sin, but not necessarily suffering, hardship, and physical death. Yet by going through those things we can grow closer to him, or maybe even draw others closer to Him.

How many came to Christianity because they witnessed the strength of Stephen's faith as he willingly died for Christ? We know that this event even played a part in St. Paul's conversion to Christianity. When we suffer, sacrifice and die, literally or not, do those actions and how we bear them bring others to Christ or not?

I think of my friend who lost her baby to a genetic disorder when she was 2 months old, and how at her funeral she offered her child now in heaven as an intercessor to homeschool families. That example of strength and selflessness deeply touched me and I have asked that baby girl for help many times since! That same mother cradled her baby's body as we all prayed the rosary, a bittersweet moment to be sure but certainly much like Mary cradling her dear Jesus after the crucifixion. I saw the dignity of that mother and of the child, (whom many would have aborted by the way because of her disorder.)

My own Uncle Al who I blogged about a few years ago - a death just before Christmas that helped us focus on what it means to live a Christian life with all of the joys and the hardships. A martyr in his own way I supposed, sacrificing for his family, his community, his church - and doing so with cheerful vigor!

A few years later, it was Uncle Al's  youngest daughter Phyllis was near death. Her suffering was even more poignant to me as she was the "older cousin" that I looked up to as a kid. As I reflect on her life I see the love of a daughter caring for her elderly parents, particularly her widowed mother, a loving wife who was both a friend and partner to her husband, a caring mother, a beautiful musician, and a good roll model for me as a young woman, trying to figure out my own vocation of simplicity in marriage. Phyllis was in her own way a Christian martyr, picking up her crosses every day.

Two other friends of mine, real women with real families and the usual concerns and problems, cared for their elderly mothers suffering from physical and mental ailments until they died their own natural deaths. These women showed me a compassion, loyalty, love to an extraordinary degree that just had to be a special grace they were given for such a big task!

This year, it was my turn to take care of my mother as she suffered and died of ovarian cancer.  And while I have many regrets over things that I did or didn't do, I also am comforted by the time I spent with my mother and that we were able to tell each other that we loved each other many, many times. Mom also made sure that I knew that I was a good daughter.  It was in her memory many times this month that I performed beautiful Christmas and Christian songs, just as she had done for most of her 81 years. 

But I suppose what has the biggest impact on me at mass, particularly in light of the apologetics discussions I have had on this blog, was the last line of today's Gospel reading: "whoever endures to the end will be saved." St. Stephen did, and I have been so blessed to see other examples of that endurance in my lifetime. My mom certainly did.

So in the church's great wisdom, St. Stephen's Day seems to be well placed to remind us what the full meaning of the incarnation really is. The church brings us two other reminders during this season with the Slaughter of the Holy Innocents, and the remembrance of St. Thomas Becket. The Christmas light and the blood of martyrs



More on King Wenceslas here.

Catholic Culture

From The Year and Our Children

St. Stephen and apologetics on purgatory here.

Wonderful reference from Fisheaters.com

Family Prayers on the Feast of Stephen.

JP II Angelus message on Feast of Stephen







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Christmas 2009

Me - taking pictures!




















Christmas breakfast




O-Antiphon ornaments







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