Rosie and I left the house around 10 to get to our local Catholic book store, where I purchased a prayer book that I had found to be very helpful when I lost my own baby back in 2002. I blogged about this book here and here. One of the little prayers in this book was so helpful to me that I wanted to share it with this mom.
Mary, my mother, obtain for me, I beg you, the grace of a holy resignation. Obtain for me the grace to understand this trial which is so hard for me to bear. I know that God in his all-wise providence has seen that it is for the best. Yet it is hard for me to bear the grief I feel. I come too you,dear mother, comforter of the afflicted and constant aid of those who trust in you. I know that you can obtain for me the peace and resignation that I seek. I confide in you entirely in this my tribulation and sorrow. You know the meaning of a mother's love, and can understand the dept of my affliction. Be to me a tender and protecting mother. For now, dear Mother Mary, I feel more than ever the need of your motherly love and sweet consolation.
Mary sorrowing, Mary of all Christians, pray for us!
I enclosed a little angel pin with the baby's birth stone, very similar to this one. Someone got me one of those too when my baby died and I appreciated it very much.
Gift bag in hand I made it to church with 15 minutes to spare, but I had to walk Rosie over to the soccer field to be with her dad before I went to church. Luckily a friend of mine was going into church so I gave her the bag to give to the mother. I made it to the soccer field and sprinted back just in time for the funeral to start.
The church was packed. The young mom and dad had a lot of family and friends. I sat off to the side. It really was a joyous funeral. The family was full of love and hope, and while it was sad, there was much joy from the life of that little baby. I wish I could express that better. I couldn't help but think of all the women I have talked to on line or in real life who just feel that it is better to abort a baby than to go through the pain of watching it die. It was a main theme on this blog a couple of times. But what I saw today, and what I experienced myself in the past is that there is a real healing and growth that comes through the experience of having a child and then watching it go back to God. Just the amount of love coming from friends, family, co-workers and even complete strangers ( of which there were several of us) is just something amazing to feel and experience.
Others of us in the congregation had also lost babies. At the sign of peace I waved to another friend of mine whose grandson is buried next to my son at the Catholic Cemetery. I wonder if she was remembering that funeral while attending this one. I know that I had glimmers of our funeral(s) as we went through the rest of the funeral and sang all of the hymns.
When it was over I caught up with my family at the soccer field. My little kids had tied up their game. My big kids won theirs. We grabbed a quick celebratory lunch and then I had to head back to church for the wedding.
I was so impressed with Father, being able to go from the sadness and grief of the baby's funeral to the joy and splendor of the wedding! I don't think that just anyone could do that. It takes a special gift I think to be able to meet everyone where they are whether it be sorrow or joy, and in such a short time span.
The wedding was lovely. The couple and their friends and family were so kind to me and very fun to work with. And the rain held off for them.
As soon as they were done with pictures, adoration started (again) until mass. Truly one of the more emotional days I'm sure in our church.
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