Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…

Works for Me Wednesday - planning for your own death dos and dont's!

My sister and I have learned SO much from my mom's death last month and I'd like to share some of the things mom did that were extremely helpful, somethings we all could have improved on AND some things that haven't been going so well!

DO pre-plan your funeral! Mom sat down with the funeral home she wanted to use and planned EVERYTHING from flowers to the hairdresser, casket and grave site. Mom had everything planned for a viewing, funeral mass, cremation and inurnment. This was such a blessing for us. We saved a lot of money too!

DON'T count on your kids to write your obituary. I screwed up her date of birth (and used my girlfriend's date of birth which is only a few days before moms! My girlfriend caught it at the calling hours!) My sister and I couldn't remember if she got her Master's degree at Michigan State or University of Michigan. And although we heard those stories for years and years and years, when we needed the details we didn't have remember them. Write down the key parts of your life you want remembered in an obituary including who predeceased you, education, work record, hobbies, stuff like that.

DO talk about the funeral. Mom wanted to plan her readings and funeral music, but I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her about that sort of thing. I wanted to plan for her recovery, not her death. If she had left notes on the readings and music that she wanted it would have helped us out a great deal.

DO keep a record of all of your life insurance policies, annuities, properties, etc. and let your heirs know where your will is! In fact - have a will!! My sister and I found mom's life insurances by going through stacks and stacks of papers. I just by chance found a copy of her will. And while we're on the topic, where you keep your will is something to really think about. Mom has hers locked up in a Probate court in Michigan. They will not release it to anyone but another probate court which has been problematic for me. But if she had locked it up in a safety deposit box that could have been bad as well because that apparently takes an act of God (or at least some legal maneuvers) to get the contents. I think Mr. Pete and I will invest in a fire proof safe at home for such things.

DO throw out stuff you don't need or want or use. We've been throwing out statements and banking stuff from the 60s! (Although some stuff I'm keeping just for family history purposes.) If you haven't worn it in 10 years- pitch it! Throw away paperwork after it has outlived its usefulness.

Works for Me!

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