Saturday, May 23, 2009

7 Quicktakes- the late Saturday Edition

oin Jen and the other Quicktakers over at the Conversion Diary.

1. I got over 54 visits here yesterday looking at this old blog post. And I have no idea why!!

2. I had to work a wedding at church today. Instead of the priest the groom's father, a deacon, presided. It was rather interesting to hear the groom's father give a homily about the couple! He got a few nice little nudges in towards his son and what took him so long to finally propose! They were a sweet couple and it was a real joy to work with Deacon Phil too!

3. My mother seems better but she certainly has become cantankerous. I'm wondering if the medication or perhaps the brain tumor is affecting this personality change. She is fighting as hard as she can - to NOT get out of bed. It's so weird. When her mother, my grandmother, had a big stroke back in the 1960s, she fought like heck to be able to walk again. She also wore out two hard rubber balls by squeezing them them to regrain strength back in her hand. I remember that so vividly and promised myself that if I ever got that sick, I would fight hard too. My sister says the same thing. So we can't quite figure out how this determination to fight physical adversity missed a generation?

4. This is my last week in my 40s. It's a little scary. My mom is so sick and her prognosis is so bad. But as I face 50 I am starting to have anxiety over every little ache and pain. I'm usually not so focused on those things but since mom has had so many things go wrong (brain tumor, multiple myeloma, ovarian cancer) I am taking these things more seriously. Mr. Pete says when you hear hoof beats don't think zebra - but I have seen the zebras. They know where I live.

5. Calvin is leaving us next week to on on a vacation with his girlfriend and her family for about ten days. He will miss my birthday and Rosie's birthday. I accept it. But I'm not wild about it. Last year someone literally had to die to keep him from going on this trip. That could happen again this year - I hope not, but it's a possibility.

6. I signed Rosie up for swimming lessons this year, and as I was walking back to my car with the sign up sheet I noticed that I HAVE TO GET INTO THE POOL WITH HER!! This means I will have to put on a bathing suit. I have a couple of vanity issues with this, plus it's probably a public service for me NOT to appear in a bathing suit. I was going to ask Sam to do it for me, but then Mr. Pete reminded me that this is memory making time. Rosie with her mom in the swimming pool. Rosie is going to remember the fun, and the sun, and being safe in mommy's arms, and the fun of jumping into the water knowing that mommy will catch her. She is not going to care about how I look in a bathing suit - only that I am there with her. So in that sense, I'm looking forward to it.

7. This is my third time experiencing the long illness, poor prognosis, extended death of a loved one. I also have some experience with the sudden unexpected deaths of loved ones. Both are difficult for the survivors, but if I had a chance to pick my own demise, I know which one I prefer!

I want to go like a musician friend of mine. She was in her 70s. She go up one morning, got dressed, drove to her regular yoga class, and died suddenly there! It was kind of hard on her classmates, but dying quickly, painlessly, while doing something you enjoy, seems like a good death to me.

A couple of weeks ago I read a How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gill. and Mr. Gill mentioned that his mother had been diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm. The doctor advised her that she could have an operation to repair it, but that it was a big procedure and would take her six months to recover... or she could just leave it alone. However if she did that the aneurysm could rupture unexpectedly one day and she would die instantly, to which she replied, "Perfect!"

I think I concur!



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