Writing a letter to your confirmation candidate

It seems that one of the biggest events in confirmation preparation in this country is the letters of support to be given to the confirmation candidates during their mandatory retreats.

I have three such letters saved on this blog:

Confirmation letter to my daughterConfirmation letter to my fourth sonConfirmation letter to to my third son
I've asked my children what they remember about the letter they got from me and their dad, and also what they remembered about the letters they received. 
The answer was not much, or at least nothing specific. In general they were happy to have gotten a bag full of letters and there was a sense of feeling loved and supported. I guess that's the main thing - for them to have a sense that this is an important step in their spiritual growth, and that people they know, love and respect have taken the time out of their lives to let them know that! So here are some tips on procuring and writing letters for young confirmation candidates. Start thinkin…


I can't quite let this go.

Candy, the blogger over athttp://myblessedhome.blogspot.com/ and the vendor behind the Home Management Binder wrote this today in response to the question of whether she had ever attended a Catholic mass.

: "A Yes. It was so sad and gut wrenching that it almost brought me to tears. I was the only one attending, that I could see, that brought a Bible, and even bothered looking up scriptures. The Bible ignorance in that crowd was astounding me as well. Most of them don't seem to read their Bible, they just follow what 'the church' teaches them. Everyone there looked to me like they were wearing masks with no eyes. :-( I suspect that there might have been more true reverence (as opposed to ritual) in a black mass (however they'd be worshiping the wrong guy, of course)."

Reading that is so similar to the feeling I had yesterday in the public library when the homeless, mentally ill man called me a "dumb ****"

How does one deal with ignorance, unjust hatred, misinformation, obsession, mental illness?

I look around St. Blog's and I see all of the daily readings posted in the side bars. I read about lives of holiness, taking care of children, going to work, raising families, serving the community, helping the poor, worshiping at church, in the home, in the workplace. I have read beautiful testimonies to God's love and goodness. I have read blog writings and exegesis that probably could have counted for college credit in an academic setting, but the author shared that knowledge and insight for free on a blog. I read Frankie's mom's blog and see how full of faith she is during this terrible time. I think about the Catholics who have been persecuted and killed for their Catholic Faith and for doing what Jesus would do.

What gives this woman the right to judge us? To hate us?

There is nothing I could possibly say or write to this woman that could change her mind. Only the Holy Spirit could do that. But Candy, if you are reading this, I would encourage you to read the Catholic blogs in my side bar and see that we are not "wearing masks with no eyes" and we do have deep reverence to Jesus Christ our Lord. I guess a living witness in some cases, is the only way to get through.

In the meantime I take comfort in this:

5:10. Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

and of course, I will not support the crusade against Catholics by purchasing a Home Management Binder.

Update: Candy actually did finally respond to my comments (although as far as I know she never ever published any of them.) She says my comments were "rude." Of course, you'll have to take her word for it because she never actually lets them stand for themselves. Folks who actually read this blog know that I dislike ad hominems and other logical fallacies, (her blog is full of both) and that I try to refrain from using them.

So here's what I think. I think Candy really truly does hate what she thinks the Catholic Church teaches and what she thinks Catholics are. She has been reading a lot of anti-Catholic stuff (she even linked to a Jack Chick site as "evidence." However she is not a skilled apologist and so she does not allow Catholic apologists to challenge her. It keeps her from losing face.

That all said, the best way to get across to her is just living a good witness. (A good boycott of the Home management binder is also good.)


  1. I had some problems with her too some time ago.She is a mad woman - and a bad one.

  2. Why would anyone want to buy it when FlyLady has it for free? Candy acts like she thought up this system.. but hers greatly resembles Flylady!

  3. Anonymous2:18 PM

    Your blog is interesting, thank you for inviting me Elana. :)
    Have you ever saved any of the comments you post to Candy before you sent them, and saved them in a Word document, dated and such? That may be a good idea if what you are saying to her is free from slander, hateful speech. She is a passionate woman about her beliefs, but I certainly see no hatred from her to Catholics as people, only the Catholic religion. I am sorry you feel that way. It never feels good to feel hated.
    I will come visit again soon and I will keep you in my prayers. :)
    -Mrs. Gunning

  4. Thank you for your gracious comment Mrs. Gunning. yes, I have saved my comments and published them over on my Visits to Candyland blog. We rebut all of her anti-Catholic posts there as she will not allow us to correct her on her blog.

    Thanks for your kind words and prayers

  5. Rachel, AMEN! Finally someone says it! Candy does act like she came up with the whole binder concept. I've had a binder for 6 years, and I read about it in a book from the early 80s called "Bonnie's Household Organizer."

    I'm not Catholic, but I am a Christian. I don't agree with much of what Candy says, and I think she's the one who is rude!

  6. Anonymous6:19 PM

    She stopped talking to me when I cut my hair. MY HAIR,and stopped covering...Oh well.
    No loss.

  7. Anonymous7:36 PM

    Elena, what you quote from Candy certainly seems hate-filled and more than rude to me. I had a run-in with a well-known Catholic blogger after I posted a critical review of one of her books on amazon.com. It was very unpleasant. I did save our correspondence, but have never posted it. I told her I preferred to communicate with her in the comments box on amazon, after she offered to send me information via my private email.

    A boycott of Candy's work sounds like a great idea. I had fond memories of Linda Ronstadt's songs in the 1970s (but not her lifestyle--she was living with Governor of California Jerry Brown without benefit of marriage). Well, in 2004 Linda stated publicly that it is a "conflict" for her when she finds out "somebody in the audience is a Republican or fundamental Christian. It can cloud my enjoyment. I’d rather not know.” As a pro-lifer I am only too happy to not cause Miss Ronstadt discomfort by doing anything that contributes to her income, and by letting other pro-lifers know so they also can not upset her by attending her concerts or buying her music.


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