A very nice article from a local paper covering Barb and her family.
NEW FRANKLIN – Barbara Jean McNeill spent her life in service to others.
The New Franklin resident was 38 when she collapsed and died suddenly in her kitchen on Feb. 6.
“She was the most selfless, humble person you would ever meet,” her husband, Dan, said. “A simple housewife who has had no employment outside of the home for more than 16 years, yet she touched so many people.”
At the time of her death, she was caring for the three youngest of her 11 children, including an infant, Edward, 3 weeks old. Her last act was going to get an ice cream confection for her tiniest children.
A shy, introverted woman who disliked the spotlight and hid from recognition, Barb McNeill found joy baking cookies, caring for others’ children (in addition to her own 11) helping children with craft projects and giving away her personal possessions.
A devout Catholic, she seemed to take a very literal translation of Jesus’ suggestion to walk without material encumbrances on this Earth.
Friends and family remember her as being totally giving. For six hours, mourners packed the funeral home. At the funeral, still more filled St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church.
Since then, the family has received hundreds of cards and e-mails expressing their love for this quiet woman who prayed constantly.
Her husband, Dan McNeill, remembers her as being “perfect.”
“She was. She really was. She would have these children — all natural births, each time. And 10 minutes after she had them she wanted to take a shower and go home. She was amazing.”
Her death came as quite a shock to her family, but they have allowed their faith to set the foundation for their future. The children, as well as Dan McNeill, wrote letters detailing their memories and love for the woman who was such an integral part of their lives.
One child drew pictures of his mother’s casket with sad faces of the pallbearers surrounding her. Another told his mother that he would see her in about 2050 or so.
Dan McNeill recalled the many gifts he gave his wife over the years, and how they would disappear.
“Once, I got her flowers, and when I got home they weren’t there. She said the neighbors’ cat had died, so she wanted to cheer them up.
“Another time, I gave her a beautiful wreath for the front door — something really special with some great colors. She saw it and said I just had to take it to another neighbor because it was precisely made up with the very colors of a brand new addition on their home and she knew they’d love it. I guess I got used to it, but she was always doing stuff like that,” Dan McNeill said.
Dan McNeill encouraged her to take care of herself, but she seemed reluctant to do so.
When she would go for an afternoon of shopping, she would return with numerous shopping bags. Everything inside was for somebody else.
“I am just beginning to learn that I don’t know what I don’t know,” Dan McNeill said. “In other words, I don’t even know what all she did for us because there was so much.
A convert to Catholicism in 1989, Barbara had been raised Baptist. Hers was a small family. She had a twin sister and a brother, who died at 19 in an accidental electrocution at work.
She worked hard to home-school many of the children.
“She had finished high school and some college but she was constantly learning,” Dan said. “She would listen to tapes so that she could grasp the teaching of science from a Christian perspective.”
Karen Smith, Dan’s sister, said, “She was always doing something for someone else. And I do mean always. I was never so sure that I was in the presence of someone who truly loved her family and everyone around her. We will miss her so much.”
Dan McNeill sighed while pondering the future.
“I don’t know what will happen. We are taking one day at a time. My job gave me some time off with the family medical leave, so I have three months to put this all together.” He sells insurance for Celaris Brokerage, a division of Sky Bank.
On Sunday, Feb. 19, baby Edward Benedict McNeill will be baptized. “I’ll be the single parent on the altar then,” Dan said.
Barb McNeill’s twin, Beverly Marchion, and Bev’s husband, Greg, will be the godparents.
Dan McNeill’s voice became nearly a whisper as he said that he is not angry at God.
“I may not agree with his plan, but I am not angry. I just know that I don’t understand it. But it doesn’t seem that you ask God to use him as he wills and then when the first hardship comes along you tell him that you didn’t think he was going to ask you to do something this difficult. It doesn’t work that way, and I know that.”
Barbara McNeill is survived by her children Christopher, Stephanie, Phillip, Jackie, Jenny, Elizabeth, Jerry, Maria, Andrew, Matthew and Edward, and her husband, Dan McNeill.
A fund has been established for the McNeill family. Those wishing to may send a check payable to The McNeill Children at Sky Bank, 1790 Graybill Road, Uniontown, OH 44685.
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